The Experts at YourTango share, in the above video, insights into relationships and romance, how men and women differ, and how to form a healthy, happy, commited bond with your partner.
We all want to be loved, and sometimes, many times, we come to relationships with unrealistic expectations of what romance should be, of how our partner should act, or of what our story will become. In this clear and concise video, a panel of experts discuss, from a male and female perspective, some of the expectations we must eliminate, the solid ground we need to be on with ourselves when we begin a relationship, and the concept that a romance is, as the French word origin “roman” translates to, the building of a story.
You and your partner are building your story together. And, men and women have different ways of building things. For one, communication styles are typically vastly different. Even in same sex couples, you and your partner will have different needs. Be open to ways of listening, sharing, giving, and loving that will meet your partner’s needs and surely, if the love is real and true he or she will do the same.
Here are a few ways more things to keep in mind as you grow together.
Use your relationship to teach you to be whole. Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but about coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life.
See your partner for who he or she really is. The romantic fantasy blows up when you view the person you love as what they have come to represent, not as who they are.
Be willing to learn from each other. Don’t point fingers or lay blame.
Be comfortable being alone. Love can’t rescue you from being alone. Learn to spend time being with yourself.
Own who you are. True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.
Embrace the ordinary. After the honeymoon phase, we discover real life. Try to see the everyday as the spark of intimacy. Sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.
Focus on giving. Genuine happiness is about how well we have loved both ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of deeply loving others is that we are deeply loved.
Let go of expectations. You may look to romance and constant togetherness to fill a void. Practice self-care. Love will be there for you, and you won’t put expectations and pressures on your partner, and creating dissappointment for yourself. No one can meet all your needs.
These are only a few ways to explore real intimacy. How you create loving connections in your relationship will be up to you and your partner. It will be your story to build. Enjoy, let go, sit across from each other, and walk side-by-side. You will find love along a path you create together.
Also by Jenny Kanevsky