I used to say that I didn’t care about what others think. But I did. I still do actually. What I believe now is that we never really stop caring about what others think. It never goes away completely. However, one thing I am sure — it is definitely possible to care less than before.

I don’t mean that I became a person who does everything she wants recklessly, never worries about how others might feel, or whether they are hurt or threatened. No.

I‘ll explain how I care less than ever before about my personal list of priorities — while I am also gentle with the people’s lives that I do touch.

1. Have solid goals.

Setting your dreams as goals boosts one’s confidence like nothing else.

For me it is the most effective way to care less about anything in life. I know what I want, I work toward it and all the other things get blurred.

That’s why I always remind myself of the targets I am focusing on. In this way, everything that is trying to distract me or has the potentiality to make me feel like I am unworthy fades away.

Get really clear and real about your future so nothing will mislead and cause you to get derailed.

“A goal is not always meant to be reached; it often serves simply as something to aim at.” –Bruce Lee

2. Know what your priorities are in life and stay accountable to them.

What do you care about most? What are your values in life? How do you incorporate them in your daily life?

Are you living by them? or is it something you plan do to do in future?

Depending on the intensity of staying accountable to them you will experience less worry in your life.

Why would you worry if you are the person you want to become after all?

“The first step to success is knowing your priorities.” Aspesh

When you become the way you want to be, being liked by others, doing silly things, saying the wrong words will not bother you that much anymore. It will feel a part of the game already.

If you set clear intentions and decide to be committed, no one, nothing can ever distract you. Sometimes the reason why we care about other’s opinions is that we are not sure of ours. So, the lack of decisiveness reflect on our lives in the worst way possible.

Although we may think we already know what we want from life, because we don’t value them enough to pursue in spite of the conditions, we get lost and need guidance from others. In other words, what people have to say about us and our lives become the priority when there is not any replacement from our side.

3. Self-love is the language of happiness.

Happiness is directly related to not caring at all. Remember the last time you were really happy, I mean reeeallyy happy. Can you count one thing that you worried or cared at the moment? Personally, I can’t.

When I feel satisfied with my own being I don’t really bother if anyone does not like me or judge me for what I am doing. I don’t even bother If someone comes and tells that I am ugly in my face. Because I know I am not, what I am is happy.

Happiness is an inside job. It gives you wings. Then all you see is the sky above without the fear of falling.

Cultivating a state of contentment will benefit you in all areas of your life. You don’t have to be flying because of the serotonin in your blood at every second to feel satisfied with your self. You just need to choose to be happy at any given moment.

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself — no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are — completely; the good and the bad — and make changes as YOU see fit — not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
Stacey Charter

4. Gratitude for what you have = less worry about anything else.

Why do you care about anything? You either don’t want to lose it or want to get it. In both cases, when you go deep deep down, you realize that caring alone won’t really change anything.

Just because you care too much about your laptop, you are not going to lose it.

Or just because you care too much about the laptop you want to buy, you are not going to get it either.

Even understanding this can save you time and energy so you can pour into actually trying to get what you want.

One thing you can do to affect those things is gratitude.

You are grateful for your laptop, now it is a feeling far away from caring too much aka fear of losing it. You are grateful about the things your laptop manages and allows you to create.

It is not the same laptop with the one you approached with delicate worry anymore.

Also, another benefit of being grateful for what you have right now, diminishes the “neediness” for what you don’t have yet. You use what is available to you now in hopes that you will get where you want without rushing, without worrying, without caring too much.

“Strive to find things to be thankful for, and just look for the good in who you are.”
— Bethany Hamilton

5. A glass of red wine.

Sometimes I don’t want to do anything but sip from my wine in the middle of the night. I love the view from my balcony. The gleaming lights that are coming from the other side of the city comforts me like nothing else.

I literally forget anything and let myself get lost in them. I try to visualize the people who are right now residing in those apartments and houses.

What kind of life are they living? What are they thinking?

All of these leads me to a single point that we all are humans. The thoughts that cause us to be distressed and care too much are big in our heads only.

There is beauty hidden in the unknown and it is far from the worry.

“Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson