Infidelity is an action that many will say is indefensible, but when people think of cheating, they tend to imagine a married person sleeping with someone outside their marriage. It’s usually a physical act. However, what happens when a married person has a deep, emotional connection to someone outside the marriage? This can be known as an emotional affair.
In this post, we will look at what an emotional affair is and how you can end it.
Emotional Affair Vs. Friendship
An emotional affair isn’t people who are good friends. Some people may just have a good friendship and aren’t in an emotional affair at all. Here’s how to tell the difference.
You usually don’t keep your friendship with someone a secret to your spouse. If you’re afraid to tell your spouse about the “friendship,” it may be an emotional affair. You usually tell your spouse if you’re hanging out with a friend. You may even bring your spouse with them. However, you won’t do the same with
There’s a Sexual Attraction
When it comes to emotional affairs, you know you’re in one if there’s sexual tension between the two of you. You don’t have to be physically intimate with the person for it to be an emotional affair.
You’re Blowing Off Your Spouse for the Person You’re In an Emotional Affair With
If you feel like you’re ignoring your spouse more and are thinking about the person you’re talking to, you may be in an emotional affair. You’re less intimate with your spouse, and you instead fantasize about that person. You may be less open to your spouse as well, but share your deepest desires with that person.
There’s Tension in Your Marriage
Even if you were just friends at first, an emotional affair can happen if there’s some tension in your marriage. Whether you’re starting to feel distant, argue more, or feel like you can’t talk to your spouse anymore, this can increase the chances of an emotional affair.
Anything That Breaks The Boundaries of Your Marriage
Finally, a sign that it’s an emotional affair is if you’re doing something that breaks the boundaries of your marriage. Every marriage has certain boundaries, with some being laxer and others being more strict. If you’re breaking the boundaries, you’re having an emotional affair.
Why It’s Bad
While you aren’t physically cheating with someone, an emotional affair is still infidelity. It’s often the beginning of physical cheating as well. When there is sexual tension between two people, it doesn’t take long before the line gets crossed.
How to End It
Now, let’s talk about ending an emotional affair. If you’re in an emotional affair and you realize it, you may wonder how you can walk it back before disaster strikes. Here are some ways you can do this.
Cut Out Contact With the Person
If you’re having an emotional affair with a person, it’s best that you stop talking to them. This isn’t to say that you can’t be friends when the feelings go away, but for now, it’s best that you end the friendship. It can be difficult to go back to being “just friends” when intense emotions have happened.
Some people cut out all contact, while others may talk to the person one last time to explain what’s going on. Depending on your situation, one may be better than the other. Most people will prefer there to be some closure, as ghosting can hurt a person, but if you feel like you can’t confront them in person, you may just want to stop talking to them altogether, or message them and then block.
Take Some Responsibility
It’s important to admit that you messed up. We are all human, and we’re not saying you should self-flagellate, but coming clean is a noble move. In many cases, taking responsibility may come in the form of telling your spouse.
Of course, telling your spouse can be a challenge. One way you can solve this is to
Go To Marriage Counseling
If the reason the emotional affair happened in the first place was because of issues in marriages, then consider talking to a counselor. You may do it individually as well, but one of the smartest decisions may be to bring both you and your spouse in and see how you can repair your marriage.
As mentioned, marriage counseling can also be a good way for you to come clean about the emotional affair. Doing it outside of counseling can be a dangerous move, as emotions can run high. It can often spell the end of the marriage. However, a counselor’s office is a much safer environment to admit to it.
Think About Why the Affair Happened
This is a good thing to discuss with the counselor and your spouse. Why did the emotional affair happen to begin with? Is it because the person had something the marriage was missing? Was it due to recent issues in the marriage? Figuring out the exact reason behind it can help both you and the spouse repair your marriage.
If The Marriage Wasn’t Meant to Be
There are some cases where your marriage or relationship is falling apart, and it may be better to try to be in a relationship with the person you’re talking to. In a case like this, don’t play any games. Instead, end the relationship and go from there. Don’t commit infidelity and keep being in the relationship while you’re talking to someone else.
Of course, this is also something that you should think a long time about. Sometimes, you may just be lovestruck by someone and they may not be good marriage material. Even if you think you want to leave your spouse, marriage counseling is something you should still seek out.
An emotional affair isn’t as severe as one that’s physical, but it should still be cut out from your life in most cases.
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