It can feel impossible to get over that “one special girl” who broke your heart.
Perhaps you want to move on but you keep thinking about this woman. Maybe it feels like you won’t be able to stop!
I once spent a WHOLE YEAR without one date because I was so bitter about losing an ex. That’s no way to spend the limited time you have on this planet.
Nowadays, I can move on from failed relationships much quicker because of the following steps.
1. Realize you barely knew your ‘crush’
Sometimes, men get upset about losing “one special girl” who they NEVER DATED!
In fact, that happened to me a few times as a teenager. I would daydream about my crush and how great it would be to kiss her. Then, I’d ask her out and she’d say “ew”. Or I’d spot her on campus with her new boyfriend.
These experiences become painful when you invest too much time thinking about your crush. To avoid this problem, ask her out as soon as you get the opportunity.
To move on, remind yourself that you don’t even know this woman! Not on an intimate level anyway. You created this image of a perfect princess, but she probably isn’t like that. She has flaws just like everyone else, but you didn’t get to see them.
You didn’t love her; you loved the idea of dating her. The idea you made up in your fantasies.
2. Stop believing in fairytales
I’m not just talking about children’s books and Disney films. Almost every TV show and movie promotes the idea of finding ‘The One’.
Supposedly, of the billions of women roaming the planet, only one will bring you true love.
What a load of codswallop.
In reality, there’s an abundance of women who you could enjoy a fantastic relationship with.
Once you realize that, it becomes easier to get over the one you lost.
3. Delete your photos of her
Some men like to torture themselves by staring at old photos of their “one special girl”.
That’s no way to get over her.
Do yourself a favor and delete all her photos from your phone.
If you have physical photos, be dramatic and burn them in a fire.
4. Erase her phone number and unfollow her on social media
Disabling all means of contact will help to speed up the healing process.
It’s no good texting her anyway. The more you chase her, the less she’ll respect you.
You definitely don’t want to see her surrounded by other men on her Instagram stories.
5. Channel your emotions into something useful
If you’re sad, go and do the things that make you truly happy. Make the most of the extra time you have to try new hobbies or spend time with your friends.
If you’re angry, use that as motivation to become a better new version of yourself. That will attract better women and make your ex regret leaving you.
Many people use the pain of a break-up as a catalyst to completely transform their mediocre lives.
6. Go outside and meet more women
You have to be fun, confident and charismatic to impress a beautiful woman. That’s tough when your heart is weeping for a former beau.
I’m telling you to go out there and try it anyway. It gets easier, the more you try.
Don’t focus on trying to get something from the women you meet. Aim to have a fun conversation. If you find a connection, push it as far as what makes you comfortable.
I’m not saying you have to sleep with anyone or try to find someone hotter than your ex.
The point is to learn to enjoy being single. Embrace the magic of not knowing who you could meet next. Acknowledge the excitement of starting to fall for someone else.
The more you can appreciate the single life, the easier it becomes to get over your previous romance.
I recommend meeting women in the real world because it’s more fun than sitting at home swiping on dating apps.
How I Learned to Enjoy Being Single (And Transformed My Dating Life)
I was a miserable singleton who no-one wanted to date. This is how I turned things around.
medium.com
7. Understand that these feelings will fade
The first heartbreak is the toughest. You often don’t realize you’ll get over it because you’ve never done that before.
The truth is: all emotions fade with time.
That includes your obsession with this “one special girl”.
The more of these tips you follow, the faster your feelings will fade.
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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
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