How to Handle Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is an important ingredient for personal and professional development and for strengthening relationships.

Being receptive to feedback is essential. People only provide feedback if you are approachable and allow them to feel comfortable giving you the feedback.

There is no point in asking others to give you feedback unless you are prepared to be open to it and to consider comments that differ from your own perceptions.

The following are tips when you are seeking feedback about yourself.

Be explicit

• make it clear what kind of feedback you are seeking.
• if necessary, indicate what kinds you do not want to receive.
• the feedback from others is entirely for your benefit and if you do not indicate what you want, you are unlikely to get it.

Be attentive

• concentrate fully on what is being said
• focus on what the person wants you to know, not on what you would like to hear.

Be aware

• notice your own reactions, both intellectual and emotional.
• particularly notice any reactions of rejection or censorship on your part.
• if the viewpoint from which the other is speaking is at variance with your own, do not dismiss it: it can be important to realize the misapprehensions of others.
• some people find it useful to partially dissociate or distance themselves in this situation and act as if they were witnessing feedback being given to someone else.

Actively listen

• active listening is a communication technique used in counselling, training and conflict resolution.
• it requires that the listener fully concentrate, understand, respond and then remember what is being said.
• interest can be conveyed to the speaker by using both verbal and non-verbal messages such as maintaining eye contact, nodding your head and smiling, agreeing by saying ‘Yes’ or simply ‘Mmm hmm’ to encourage them to continue.
• by providing this ‘feedback-in-kind’, the person speaking will usually feel more at ease and therefore communicate more easily, openly and honestly with you.

Be silent

• refrain from making a response
• don’t even begin to frame a response in your own mind until you have listened carefully to what has been said and have considered the implications.
• don’t use the excuse of correcting factual errors to avoid hearing and resonating with the substance of what has been said.
• don’t be distracted by the need to explain.
• if you continue to feel that you need to give an explanation, do it later after the feedback session once you are sure you have attended to all that has been said.

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This Post is republished on Medium.

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Photo credit: iStock