Everyone wants an emotionally reliable person in their lives.
No one wants to deal with untrustworthy people who can’t keep their word or follow through with their commitments.
I bet you’re no exception.
You want people you can count on in your life, people who, when they say that they will do something, are actually doing it. If you want to forge deep relationships, reliability is the #1 quality you should seek.
What follows is a list of signs that can help you indicate an emotionally reliable person — whether it’s a colleague, friend, or potential romantic partner.
Without further ado, let’s take a look at them, shall we?
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#1. They Know How to Properly Communicate Their Feelings
The art of properly communicating one’s feelings is, for the most part, what makes the difference between a mediocre relationship that lacks mutual trust and an honest, emotionally fulfilling relationship where both people are willing to lay their cards on the table.
As clinical psychologist Lori S. Katz mentions in her article:
“Communication is like throwing a ball. One person tosses the ball with the intention that the recipient will catch it. This requires a good enough toss and a completed catch. It helps if both the tosser and catcher are paying attention and motivated to complete the catch. If the ball is not tossed well, it may or may not make it to the recipient.”
An emotionally reliable person has great communication skills in the sense that they are direct and honest in communicating their feelings. They don’t leave you guessing, they don’t filter their words, and they allow themselves to be vulnerable and open up to you.
When someone’s emotionally reliable, there are no mind games, hidden meanings in words, or a need to decode their feelings — there’s only pure, honest communication.
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#2. They Always Manage to Keep Their Word
This one is extremely important because you simply can’t rely on someone who can’t keep their promises, right?
If they can’t follow through with their commitments or constantly forget about their promises, you won’t be able to open up your heart and trust them with your secrets and deepest feelings.
Our words have immense power, so it’s important to be thoughtful about the things we say as well as the things we promise to the people around us.
Giving your word to someone is like making a verbal contract with another person, and asking them to put their trust in you. Fail once, and you’ll probably lose their trust forever.
So, when you notice that a person never fails to stick to their promises and follow through with their commitments, that’s an undeniable sign you can put your trust in that person with everything that entails for you.
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#3. They Wholeheartedly Embrace Your Inner World
Here’s a harsh truth about life: most of the times someone asks you how you’re doing or how you feel, they don’t genuinely care about either of these things.
They usually expect a simple “fine, thank you”, or anything that’ll allow them to distance themselves from your problems and go back to worrying about theirs.
And every time you feel like sharing an emotional burden of yours and give a glimpse into your inner world, only a handful of people will actually be interested in the full story — why, who, and what made you feel that way.
Emotionally reliable people, on the other hand, not only will show a genuine interest in your inner thoughts, struggles, and emotional burdens, but they’ll also don’t judge or dismiss your feelings.
These people respect and accept your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, even if they don’t like or particularly agree with them — they wholeheartedly embrace your inner world.
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#4. They Respect Your Boundaries
In her article in Psychology Today, Mariana Bockarova defines boundaries as:
“Boundaries can be defined as the limits we set with other people, which indicate what we find acceptable and unacceptable in their behavior towards us. The ability to know our boundaries generally comes from a healthy sense of self-worth, or valuing yourself in a way that is not contingent on other people or the feelings they have toward you.”
The whole concept of setting boundaries can be complicated because every person sets different boundaries and has a different idea of what’s healthy or acceptable and what isn’t.
What’s more important — and a crucial thing to look for in your relationships — is whether the people around you respect your boundaries. You can’t rely on someone who crosses your limits, refuses to compromise with your wishes, and doesn’t give you the space or time you need.
Respecting other people’s boundaries comes naturally to emotionally reliable individuals. They don’t try to impose their will on others and don’t persist upon taking “no” for an answer.
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#5. Their Actions Match Their Words
Words mean nothing unless they’re backed by actions.
A person’s actions can speak volumes.
A good indicator of reliability is when a person’s words match their actions — not just the words they say to you, but to the people close to them as well.
For example, if you notice someone promising a friend to be by their side and then “forgetting” to show up, it’s not a very good sign of reliability.
You can also take a look at the way that person talks about themselves, and what they like or don’t. Do they say they love working out but never actually go to the gym? Have they said they love reading, but it’s been years since the last time they read a book? Not a very trustworthy, behavior, am I right?
Actions always reveal a person’s true character, since their thinking and intentions are reflected in their actions. If you’re trying to gauge a person’s reliability, rather than what they say, pay attention to what they do.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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