You might ever find a kid, a little girl who keeps crying in a birthday party even since she comes and without anyone hurting her, or a boy who enjoys to play squash instead of joining a football team. They must be the introverts.
Introverted children tend to focus on thoughts, feelings, and moods that come internally from within themselves, compared to seeking stimulation from outside.
Yes, I myself as an introvert person usually prefer being alone because I feel like I have to spend a lot of energy when socializing. For me, there are always many things to think about when starting a relationship. The Avoidant Personality Disorder I live with, also always make me feel cautious when there’re situations that “insist” me to connect with other people. It gulps my self-consciousness to consider all things which’s oftens irrational and end up so overwhelming.
Actually, I can still feel a happiness, excitements or affection towards others, but usually I don’t show it through expressions or behaviours.
According to Rosario Cabello, a psychologist from the University of Castilla-La Mancha Spain, introverted people have different social needs. They may look less cheerful or less happy, when in fact they can feel happiness too in their own way.
Here’re some of common characteristics of introverted children:
1. Tend to keep feelings to themselves
Compared to conveying any problems, any feelings (positive or negative) to others, introverted children more prefer to keep their hearts to themselves. They tend to “talk” to themselves to find solution, to manage their emotions and find peace within their mind.
Therefore, you don’t need to feel worry if you see your children talking to themselves or to their toys.
They usually behave like this because they’re wanting to express their emotions without feeling judged by others. As a kid who often got bad/wrong treatments verbally from my family, I remembered to just alone pouring out my complaints or crying to my tiny horse toy every time anyone at home mocking me…
2. Seems quiet or withdraw themselves from other people
As has been stated above, we may often find this introverted kid alone or seems to feel lonely when they’re around a lot of people, especially with people they don’t know well. This always happened to me. At school gathering, I often heard other kids would talk in the back that I looked like lonely stranger and confused or to appear lost in my own world.
Image by Nathan Dumlao via Unsplash
Introverted children often feel tired when they have to interact with new people or be surrounded by a lot of people. In addition, they feel no need to have too many friends.
3. Often appears fussy at an unfamiliar places
As explained earlier, if you find your girl fussy for no apparent reason at a party, she may be an introvert.
Introverted children need time to be alone where they can digest their new experiences and feelings. When they are faced with a bunch of activities or a situation that require them to interact with a lot of new people, they won’t have enough time to digest the experience. As a result, they feel uncomfortable and become cranky.
3. Introvert children don’t often show emotions
For older kids above 7 years old, they may no appear fussy at an uncomfortable feelings, but tend to hold any emotions inside.
Parents of introvert kids may not aware/recognize what their child have experienced at school, because they never shows their emotions. The kid may come home sullen and go straight to their room ignored his/her mom’s greeting. Some patents may feel annoyed by their kid’s cold behaviour without realizing their kid might have been bullied at school and needing a help.
Just for comparison, extroverted children show what’s on their minds directly through emotions, facial expression and words. On the other hand, introverts take a stimulus and hold on to it, then process it for a while for how to decide what they are thinking amd how to respond to it. When getting a teribble or a tough time, some introvert kids may choose to not deliver it to their parent.
4. Introverts are good observers
Instead of interacting with other people, these children usually prefer to be quiet and just pay attention to what others’ people doing. In silence, they will study the situation and the character of people around them.
I love watching movies, reading biographies or even reading a unique story about random people I found on the net or a newspaper, because I enjoy observe other people’s lives indirectly. That’s also why I create Be Open publication and accept submissions. I can see other’s people lives through their open and honest writings.
5. Dislike eye contact
A little bit different with Autism kid who appears/acts unintentionally ignorant, introverts also tend to avoid eye contact, especially with people they don’t know well.
They just aren’t comfortable looking other people in the eyes. This is what makes this kind of kids usually impressed others to be seen/called as a shy one. In fact, they’re just trying to protect themselves and don’t not want to feel intimidated by the presence of others.
6. They are a thinker and alert
These kids will consider anythings before making a decision, especially if it has interconnection with other people around them. For example, when they have to tell their parents a school they want to enter, it will need time for them to think which one is the best and will usually tell it when they feel sure about their decision and will prefer to deliver it in a conducive situation.
This is what makes them a person who is always alert and think of everything before acting.
7. They aren’t comfortable to be the center of attention
They may avoid to show up things in front of others. They hate it when all people’s eyes centered to them. They might be so popular amongst students because of, example; their charming, good in Math, etc, but they don’t choose to be like that, sto get centered.
They may be above average other kids academically, but they usually appear cool or “cold” for their successness. As not so comfortable to become the center of attention, it’s rare the introvert kids willing to be class leader or . Some introvert person like Bill Gates, may not be so comfortable to be in front of camera. His discoveries, his greatness and kindness that make him been in the first place of big company and having so hugh popularity.
I believe, Bill Gates grew in healthy family mentaly and in supportive environtment. That’s why he can be a great person as he is now.
Final thought
Every child is created differently and they have their own talents and personality. Therefore, if you have an introverted kid, you should not force them to behave like the extroverted children because that will make them depressed. Some wrong treatments may really block their creativity, shrunken their confidence and can cause mentality problems. You can check here about how to deal with introverted kid:
Thank you for reading!
—
This post was previously published on A Parent Is Born.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
 |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Unsplash
