Every bit of fond memories, sweet chocolates, clowning around, the endless handwritten messages for you; they’re all vanish into thin air and you’re feeling like a rabbit caught in the limelight with a mix of paralyzing and fear.
You spend too much time thinking about its only just a nightmare and in the future, your relationship will be in for the long haul. You’re begging him — please come back to me. You assumed that everything will turn out to be splendid. Until you realize, things are going to be quite heavy momentarily.
A breakup signifies to start a new beginning, which is pounding to be forced to contend with. Nevertheless, a dauntless and open-minded person may sort out the rupturing of intimacy can also signify the rupturing of a sense of worth to yourself.
Among the most shattering parts of a breakup is that it outshines things as you’ve perceived them. The old routine vanishes, plans are adjusted and the potential expectations suddenly have too many blank templates, an empty vessel where they filled with bright moments before.
Embrace the fact that he or she took the next step and so should you. Because in any relationship, flow is of utmost importance, moving on. You can’t just be stuck on a pigpen while the other person is living most of their life.
It’s copacetic to mourn to the person you were with, but you must shed those tears and rise to the conclusion that it’s time to put an end to it. So you can’t be bogged down on the past.
Take your time to heal and recover from affliction. If you want to jump-start your life and make quick changes after a breakup, then consider these routes that could help rebuild your life into a better one.
Take some time to mourn
A breakup is no joke. It can hurt — a lot. Yes, it’s acceptable to cry, scream and even lock yourself up inside the room for the whole week. I know the feeling that there is a void within ourselves and feeling like we are never going to be built with happiness again.
It makes sense that you’re bewildered and in denial of the fact — you lose a person who you could feasibly share your life with for good. No matter how deeply that pain is, you just need to let it all out for you to walk it all over in the future and the loss will start to feel more like your past.
What matters is through that healing process you must unburden yourself. Some wounds or pain, you have to rip off the Band-Aid, let yourself breathe and give it time… to heal.
Stop accusing yourself
It’s easy to say that you’re the one that caused the breakup of your relationship. You tend to accuse yourself and think about what you’ve been missing in your role. Well, it’s time to change your mindset and must avoid accusing yourself because it’s not going to end up well.
Just because you did everything and they couldn’t meet you in the middle of the road, it doesn’t mean your effort wasn’t user friendly. It means that your partner doesn’t care about what effort you’ve been putting off. And that person didn’t deserve your love and effort because he’s not willing to meet you in the middle of the road.
I know at this point you don’t want to hear another person. But the next person is going to be even better than the last one. Maybe the future human being you’ll meet might be the one who meets you in the middle of the road.
Learn to forgive one another
You can’t alter the past, but you can rebuild yourself. I know it can shatter you, but forgiving is the only way to free yourself from suffering.
When we establish oneself enduring all the pain that has been forged to us and repressing the heartache that provides, we are habitually shied away into history. Even though we desire to uproot, we are still caught in flagrante with our diverse emotions. Nonetheless, forgiving gives us an opening to re-write ourselves for the better.
When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that you’re a foolish or pathetic person. It just means that you’re willing to be the bigger person. If you start letting go and accept forgiveness, all the agony will be left behind and you’ll see the bright things ahead of you when all is said and done.
Find a path again
We, humans, are capable of making plenty of mistakes in life. Being able to learn from your blunder — so you don’t redo the same in the future — is one of the apex windfalls you can hand to yourself.
If you are still thinking about what you could have done to save your relationship, think of it as a learning process. It’s awful but true that you have to let your partner go now and set yourself free.
All people have their personal space and the best you can do is to respect it. You cannot take love from someone they have to give you that feeling. Don’t force someone to love you; otherwise, it isn’t love at all.
After a breakup, you might discover that you’re maturing and learning relationship skills that you may apply in the future. You have to embrace yourself and use it as an insight to provide you a path again and continue healing because you deserve someone who will make the best out of you.
Previously published on “Hello, Love”, a Medium publication.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.