
Finding ways to live life to the fullest, despite setbacks and challenges is a goal many people want to achieve. Life can be unpredictable and unfair at times. However, we can still make it through by learning how to build confidence and courage from our experiences.
I am someone who always gets up again, even if there are setbacks. I have a survivor instinct. I’m not sure where it comes from, but probably from all the little things that make you into who you are. Heidi Klum
Even if it doesn’t seem like it, strength and courage come from within you, not from other people. Every person experiences setbacks, some of which may steal their emotional energy, or the charge they have with life. During those times, it feels as if there is no spark left to use to move one forward. When you overcome those types of setbacks, you find a type of strength, one which builds your character.
The basic idea is the measure of your character, which is developed by the hardship you have overcome. One thing we all need is strength during difficult times, but sometimes it may seem like there isn’t any strength left inside us for whatever reason — maybe the weight of responsibility has become too heavy. When you seek the resources inside of you at first they may seem elusive.
Acknowledgment of these inner strengths gives the courage needed to overcome challenges and obstacles in life.
People’s lives can change quickly due to events beyond their control — for example, illness or an accident may lead to a permanent disability, which then sends them off course from what they had planned.
Overwhelm and the shift
For instance, one Friday I had two seminars to attend, a wedding to support my husband as a groomsman, and a meeting. I felt overwhelmed and in two of those areas I could attend a replay, so I was not overly concerned. However, the wedding and the meeting were important.
Neither had my attendance.
Our family doggy became increasingly ill overnight and we needed to take her to the vet. The sad news, we had to put her down to stop the suffering or allow her to die in pain over the next three days. We choose to relieve her suffering and endure personal loss instead.
The pain may only be two days old, but it is real. Did we plan this event? No. No one could plan an unfortunate situation from arising. When you only have one choice to make, you do the best you can.
- You grow resilient by learning to allow life to ebb and flow without demanding it to show up.
How did I manage to maintain self-control through the aforementioned stress of losing our dog? Years of practice. It doesn’t mean its easy, though. I took time through life’s experiences to allow what happens to be, and not try to make it something I cannot control. Sometimes, the best strategy is to remain calm inside, even if what you feel is turmoil.
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Photo by Elias Kauerhof on Unsplash
Stay in calmness
The essence of this is about being still. Remain present at the moment, so you can get through it without feeling lost or confused within yourself. I have found that when I can keep my focus on what’s right in front of me, then I do not feel overwhelmed with life.
The path to self-growth is to maintain a sense of inner peace.
One tactic I use is to squeeze my toes (in shoes works, too). If I start to feel a surge of emotion I grip my toes and hold for about 5–10 seconds. As I slowly release them, I focus on the sensations I feel. If you try it, see if you can feel warmth or a tingly sensation. The more you zero in to the sensation, the more your emotion will stay under your self-control.
Another way to calm is to follow your inner voice.
Your inner voice will help direct you if you calm yourself long enough to listen. This is true courage and strength, and the courage to grow from what you have experienced.
The outdoors is another good place to get centered. Nature is a gift. When we step outside we can connect with a sense of connection. Take some deep, cleansing breaths outside when you are feeling stressed. Each time you are able to reign in your emotions by practicing some outside time, you’ll feel refreshed as well as renewed.
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Every person’s life will be filled with challenges, which test our courage at times, but overcoming those obstacles gives us courage as we discover new ways to live life fully despite setbacks.
Even when life sends unpredictable situations, we can rely on our past courage, strength, and fortitude to keep us centered. When I needed the extra calmness, I found it, amidst the tears, concern, and fear. I know you can find the strength inside yourself by practicing mindfulness like I did, to calm yourself and focus on the present moment.
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This post was previously published on Change Your Mind Change Your Life.
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Photo credit: Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box

