Some women believe men are dumb – especially when it comes to working on the love language of their partners!
Of course, men are not dumb. But sometimes, when it comes to understanding signs they might be a little off-beat.
When they love you deeply, you will get every thorn of intelligence they have.
You are the bane of my existence — every man to every woman.
That phrase is how every man feels when a woman expects them to automatically understand their love language, or to just play it out with them in the best way they can.
Because of societal norms, men are not the best creatures of relational intuition, compared to women.
That is why you have to sometimes spoon-feed your man to know your love language.
But first, do you even know what you want?
What You Want vs What You Need
If a million women were asked what their love language is, you would get answers that would raise the roof of every room in the world.
That is because of the enormous fantasies.
But you have to do away with fantasies and fall in love with reality.
- Don’t say your love language is being showered with luxurious gifts when you know your partner only works at an average 9–5 job.
- Don’t say your love language is quality time when you know your partner is a start-up director.
You have to be sure of what you want before even making your man understand your love language.
Sometimes, it’s not that he doesn’t understand your love language, it’s just that he has no ability of doing it for you.
Some of the general love languages are;
1. Words of affirmation
3. Monetary gifts
4. Regular gifts
5. Acts of service
In rare situations, most of these love languages can also be translated in awkward manners.
So, as a woman, it is not enough to want your man to understand your love language.
Ask yourself the obvious question: Do you know your love language?
The Untold Awesomeness of Love Languages
This untold story is framed around the belief that other factors affect your love language.
You may not know that too.
Fact is, you have to be aware of them before you can decide that your man must understand your love language.
Assuming your love language was apologies — You just always want your partner to tell you they are sorry.
Even when they are right too.
- Do you know that even if they do so at all times, you will not still be contented?
- Do you know that if they choose the wrong time to tell you, you will even be angrier than the usual?
That means that even if you are sure of your love language, you must also be aware of the timing and the extent that works for you.
I love words of affirmations, but not at all times — Don’t stress me out with it. That’s just me.
Finally, in other to make your man understand your love language effectively, there are two main things you have to do to ensure they do as you wish.
1. Tell him plainly
I know it sounds as though men are just that dumb, but No.
When with other men, men are very intuitive and can understand pretty well. Even more, they can read the movement of their friend’s nostrils as a sign.
But when with a woman, especially one that they are in love with, they are always a little below bar.
That is why you have to tell them.
Don’t wait till he figures it out himself.
- Let him know what turns you on.
- Let him know the password to your heart.
- Let him know how to calm you down when you are annoyed.
- Let him know what to do when you wake up.
- Let me know what to do before you go to sleep.
It might not be the way a regular female will do, but if you love him, let him know your love language without stress, and watch how he will make you happier than you ever thought you would be.
2. Give him the opportunity
If you have gone through the stress of teaching your man like you are teaching a toddler about how to love you, then you should not be worried about this next step of ensuring that he understand your love language.
Give him the opportunity to do so.
Let him have scenarios where he can use them.
If you have told him how to calm you down when you are annoyed — Get angry at little things and see if he understands the assignment.
If you have told him how to make you extremely happy with him — See if there are any changes in his interaction with you.
Let him have an opportunity to utilize that which you have told him.
If not, he might even be more confused than he ever was.
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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