How To Make the First Move On a Guy

The days of men being handed the obligation of making the first move are long gone — and that’s a fantastic thing! Nobody should be hesitant to express their feelings to others, and telling someone you’d want to take them out on a date is empowering. Particularly if they say yes.

However, if you’re a woman looking to make a first move on a guy, it can be intimidating to go ahead and ask him out. (And, hey, it’s terrifying for the vast majority of men as well.) The majority of men, on the other hand, adore it when women initiate contact. In a latest survey, 94 percent of men said they prefer it when a woman starts contact with them while they’re out at a bar or in a social environment, and 96 percent said they prefer it when a woman initiates contact with them when they’re online dating. So, if you’re bored of waiting for a guy to make the first move on you, go for it yourself.

Not sure where to start? Here are some strategies for making the initial move on a guy, whether you’ve just met him or are close friends with him.

1. Ask him if he has a girlfriend.

This is crucial, because it’s a little uncomfortable to try to pick up a guy who’s already in a relationship. Take note of his body language in addition to his words. By asking if he’s romantically linked with someone, you’re showing that you’re interested in his situation — but it could also come out as a harmless “getting to know you” question. If you’re trying to make a move on a friend, so instead, use a line like, “I’m surprised a great guy like you is still single.”

2. Buy him a drink.

It actually works. A lady who takes the initiative and gets him a drink impresses the vast majority of men. Men desire to be praised, and stereotypical gender roles are increasingly fading away. You may even make it personal: if you have a signature cocktail, start by saying, “Listen, you have to try this. On me.” It’s a fantastic conversation starter, as well as proof that you’re ready to to invest in him.

3. Use observational humor.

If you’re both out and about at the same time, you’ve got one thing in common right now. People appreciate it when others can relate to them on a more casual level. Bring it up with him if something funny is going on at the other end of the bar or if there’s an entertaining game on the TVs. If you’re inviting a friend out, you may already be familiar with his sense of humor, so look for things that he’d find amusing to get the party started.

4. Compliment him.

If you’ve known a guy for a long and want to take things further, give him a complement on his appearance or personality. Is he always conscious of making others feel included? Is he constantly, no matter what, smiling? This is something that people enjoy hearing, and it’s a great way to brighten his day. The same is true with guys you’ve just met. Is he sporting a nice pair of shoes, a unique hairstyle, or a tattoo? Perhaps the way he holds his drink is unique and cool. Anything might be the case. Just remember to be genuine, since if you want to have a long-term relationship, you don’t want it to be built on a false love of Crocs.

5. Smile. Seriously.

It may seem obvious, but many people forget to smile at the person with whom they are conversing. If you’re pleased to see him, make sure your body language reflects your happiness. Smiling makes you appear and feel more approachable, which might help you gain the confidence to initiate a conversation.

6. Get your friends in on it.

It’s usually a good idea to have some backup, so take the help of your friends. For example, if you see someone you like, approach them and say something like, “My friends and I were just debating what the cheesiest love song from the 1980s is,” It’s a great method to start a discussion while simultaneously boosting your confidence. They’ll be cheering you on in the background while you hit that goal.

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7. Remind yourself why you’re a catch.

You’ll be able to really shine if you enhance your own confidence before approaching someone. Remind yourself that you’re interesting enough to talk to. That you’re an incredible, lovely person who also happens to be fairly cool and well-known.

8. Make a game out of it.

Not that guys should be treated like game pieces, but if you make a point of approaching new people every time you go out, you’ll get a lot better at it. That way, you won’t feel as apprehensive when you notice someone you want to pursue. Consider making an effort to speak with one new person every day. Alternatively, make an effort to strike up a conversation whenever you’re in an elevator. It’s not even necessary for your interactions to be flirty — just nice. Making an actual move on someone will be second nature.

9. See how he responds to physical contact.

This works if you’ve known someone for a long time and want to start a love relationship with him. You’ll be able to tell if there’s genuine chemistry because you’re both comfortable with each other. Of course, don’t approach too close to him, since this may make him feel uneasy, but seeing how he reacts to a hand on his arm or brushing against him while you lean in close to talk might reveal a lot.

10. Have an out in case things get awkward.

You shouldn’t plan out your entire interaction, but having an out can help you feel more confident in making the first approach. Let’s say you strike up a conversation with someone and discover that they’re married. Practice saying, “She’s a lucky woman, have a good night!” instead of freezing in place. This happens from time to time. Even the best tactics and icebreakers sometimes result in fairly disastrous outcomes that, by the end of the night, are actually quite amusing. Simply pick yourself up and try again.

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Making the first move on a guy might be scary, but letting someone know you’re interested in them can also be a lot of fun. Just remember to maintain your self-assurance. Things may or may not work, but you never know unless you try. Practice, like everything else in life, makes perfect. Guys will soon assume you’re fearless and find your assertive attitude to be pretty impressive.

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Previously Published on medium

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