There’s no perfect gift but you can love her perfectly.
There are a lot of important dates to remember—her birthday, your wedding anniversary, your first date, so sometimes you might forget about February 14th. Don’t let Valentine’s Day sneak up on you this year.
There’s something magical and romantic about a nationally recognized day to celebrate love and to devote a little extra attention to your partner. I’ve heard husbands and boyfriends groan about the BS of buying into our culture’s commercialism, but I say don’t ruin it for everyone.
So rather than complain about the holiday, I challenge you to step up to increase the intimacy and romance in your relationship.
Valentine’s day isn’t about dropping hundreds of dollars at a swanky restaurant or buying gourmet chocolates—though I’m not complaining about the chocolates. Instead, it’s about your thoughts and actions to make your partner a priority. It’s about appreciating your relationship.
My goal for you is to use Valentine’s Day as a stepping off point to bring more intention and intimacy into your relationship. That’s the best gift you could give your significant other.
Where do you start?
An effective way to make sure your love is felt not only on Valentine’s Day, but also all year round is to speak your partner’s love language. This means showing her love in the way she most likes to receive it.
Here’s the deal—there’s no one best gift. As a spouse, it’s your job to understand how she likes to be loved. She’ll appreciate how well you know her.
If you’re unsure what love language she most prefers, you can both take this free assessment, which will provide your score for each of the five languages (words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, physical touch). Then you can use this information to plan the best V-day ever!
To help you out this Valentine’s Day, I’ve created five thoughtful gifts or activities based on each love language. You just need to pick which one she will enjoy most, and personalize it so that it’s truly a gift from your heart to show her how much you care.
I also tell you how you can incorporate these ideas into your everyday life in order to strengthen your relationship throughout the year!
Words of Affirmation: Write a list of 50 things you love about her
This love language is all about expressing appreciation and praise for your partner.
Create a genuine list of all of the reasons why you love her. Be as specific as possible. Maybe it’s the way her nose crinkles when she smiles, or how she perfectly aligns her sandwich before taking a bite. This is a great way to show her that you not only notice her, but you adore all of her quirks.
Turn this into a daily or weekly tradition by texting her one thing you cherish about her while she’s at work. This will keep you feeling connected all day long.
Acts of Service: Hire a house cleaner and prepare her favorite meal
This love language is all about being helpful and decreasing her stress.
To show how much you love her, take away all of her responsibilities for the day. Hire someone to clean the house, then prepare a homemade meal or step it up by bringing in a personal chef. Blast the music, dance in the kitchen, and crank up the fun by wearing an apron and…nothing else! Top it off by doing the dishes too.
Speak this language on a weekly basis by volunteering to go grocery shopping, gas up her car on a whim, run the errands, or do the laundry without being asked. Anything to make life a bit easier on her will be greatly appreciated.
Receiving Gifts: Create a photo book with a note about each picture
This love language is about giving her a thoughtful and heartfelt gift.
Print a few pictures or have a photo book made online with images from your favorite vacations or events together. On the back of each image, write your favorite memories from that day.
Create special memories like this on a more regular basis by taking a selfie or short video of your daily life. Maybe you’re on a long car ride together, or you just had a fun date. Take a minute to capture these loving moments.
In the future, you can look through the photos or videos and laugh together. These little fleeting moments create the heart of the relationship. Re-experiencing them together is a wonderful way to reconnect.
Quality Time: Book or create a bed and breakfast retreat
This love language is all about giving her your undivided attention and spending time together.
Book yourself a getaway to a B&B where you can lounge around in fluffy robes, eat yummy scones, and relax together by a fireplace. If that’s not in budget, create the same feel at home by making breakfast reading in bed, and taking a hot shower together. Then venture out to a part of town you’ve been meaning to explore. Just make sure you book childcare in advance!
To have more quality time in your relationship, you have to make it a priority. This means creating a nightly routine where you come home and catch up about your day without the distraction of your phones or TV. Maybe you sign up for weekly cooking classes or salsa lessons, or meet after work at a coffee or ice cream shop. Do something to create time for just the two of you.
Physical Touch: Give her a sensual massage
This love language is all about touch and physical affection.
Book yourselves a day at the spa, or create one at home by lighting candles, investing in some aromatherapy and relaxing music, and giving her a long massage.
This is an easy activity to incorporate into your day-to-day life. It’s a great way to feel connected and to spice things up a bit, especially during the workweek!
Many people have a primary and secondary love language, so get creative and combine some of these gift and date ideas to make it unique to her.
My hope is that it you appreciate and show love to your partner every day of the year, and there’s no better time than to turn it up a notch than for Valentine’s Day!
Need More Ideas? Check out Samantha’s Free EBook: Ten Tips for Loving Successfully