How To Stop Getting Attached Too Quickly

Has it EVER worked out for you when you got too attached too soon?

Have you EVER had it when you were looping and obsessing over a woman that she was so excited to be part of your life?!

Most likely, the answer is no.

In most cases, this creates desperation in your behaviour that completely turns her off.

That’s a loss for both people, by the way!

If you’d have just kept your emotions in check, you two could have been perfect for each other.

But your neediness scared her off, so she had to go back to falling for ‘players’ who don’t care about her.

So, let’s explore the three main reasons why men get too attached too quickly and what you can do to stop this from happening.

Why Do I Get Too Attached Too Quickly?

1. Scarcity

The main reason guys get too attached too quickly is a scarcity of options.

Most young men have limited options when it comes to dating. In fact, 28% have had NO sex since turning 18.

So, when one woman does give them a whiff of intimacy and validation, they cling onto her with all their might.

When she begins to lose interest, they panic. They message too often. They try a bit too hard to impress her. The woman senses that, gets creeped out and leaves.

The solution to this problem is abundance.

That’s why I’m so dedicated to teaching men how to be good with women in general. It’s why I’m always encouraging guys to go out and meet more women. It’s why you should get used to casually dating several women before you try and settle down with one.

When you do that, you’re going to be more relaxed around your dream woman when she walks into your life. She’s going to have a better time when she meets you. You’re not going to scare her away. Everybody wins.

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2. A lack of purpose

Imagine a guy in a job he hates with no hobbies, no passions and few friends he can rely on.

This type of guy will always look for a relationship to fulfil him. Then, he can feel like he has something to cherish and build on.

The problem is: he’ll usually try to rush into a relationship with the first woman who likes him. In doing so, he’ll either scare her off or settle into a relationship with a woman he’s not even that into. It’s very rare that your dream woman is the first one who’ll accept you.

The solution to this problem is to build a life that’s enjoyable whether or not you have a partner.

Cultivate friendships. Find hobbies and passions outside of chasing women. Have a life mission that makes you excited to wake up each morning.

When you do this, you’ll be less fussed if a woman takes a while to text back or cancels at the last minute, because you’ll have other awesome stuff to be doing in your life anyway.

3. You’re addicted to validation

When guys get too much of a high from female validation, it’s usually due to a lack of self-esteem.

Many men and women who get attached too quickly received a lack of love in childhood.

Perhaps they had unfit parents or they were bullied in school.

Or maybe this stems from a lack of attention from the opposite sex in adulthood.

If you think you’re carrying childhood trauma or dealing with abandonment issues, don’t hesitate to speak to a therapist.

My list of 10 life-changing self-love exercises will help you too.

How To Avoid Getting Attached Too Soon

Now you understand the main reasons why it happens, let’s run through the four areas of your life to improve to stop you getting attached to someone too soon.

Lifestyle. Build a life that’s exciting whether or not you have a partner.
Self-love. Learn to enjoy your own company and be proud of who you are.
Game. Approach more women to improve your flirting skills and land more dates.
Mental health. Speak to a therapist if you’re dealing with trauma or abandonment issues.

When you work on these four areas of your life, it becomes far easier to relax when a potential love interest walks into it.

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My book ‘The Thrill Of The Chase’ is the perfect resource if you struggle with getting attached too quickly. It explains how I overcame a year-long dry spell by learning how to improve my social skills, enjoy the single life and start dating the women I really wanted.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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