Hurt people hurt people.
I have struggled most of my life with feeling like I must constantly defend myself from the judgment of others.
I never understood why I was the one being assaulted.
I never understood. I’m a decent human being.
I am electric one-on-one.
Engaging. Lively. Connected.
I have never had a problem meeting new people. I have never been shy.
After a conversation, I would walk away, and reflect on the conversation. Usually, I would immediately recall good points.
Then I would reflect on the other person’s flaws.
Then I would reflect on how the other person must view my flaws.
A quick, downward spiral.
I would unravel the conversation in my mind quickly. Effortlessly. Painfully.
The individual must not appreciate me, because the fictitious responses, reactions, and negative attitudes that I conceived proved me correct.
The individual was
judgmental, arrogant, rude. They were not the kind of person with whom I would want to relate.
They were judgmental. I am an optimist. Full of hope. Full of love. Full of potential.
Full of judgment.
I felt this about everyone.
Hurt people hurt people.
I felt judged because I judged others. No other reason. I felt hated because I hated others. I felt their anger towards me because I felt anger towards them.
We cast on life the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs we cast on ourselves.
We feel thoughts, feelings, and beliefs from others… that we cast on them.
If you cast judgment, you receive judgment.
If you cast anger, you receive anger.
If you cast love, you receive love.
You feel from others what you feel about others.
Hurt people hurt people.
I found this fact in every portion of my life. Professional dealings which suffered, friendships which suffered, and family relationships which suffered.
As I suffered, so did everything in my life.
And I felt that I was a victim of them.
Really, others were a victim of me.
I needed the correction. Not the rest of the world.
In cleaning up my own mess, I have found that as I clear judgment of the world, towards the world…
Negativity towards the world…
…I feel less judgment, anger, and negativity
from the world.
Actually, I am removing them from myself.
Problems in life are always found on the inside, never the outside.
We hurt on the inside. Our reactions, our defenses, our emotions, our lack of love.
We hurt on the inside.
Hurt people hurt people.
We treat others the same as we feel about ourselves. No better. Maybe short term – but
never for long.
I have found this with myself, and I have helped others discover the same thing in their lives.
When the hurt inside goes away, so does the hurt we feel from the outside. Our external conditions change. We change. Anger turns to love. Understanding. Empathy.
Compassion.
Hurt people hurt people.
When you hurt, when you hurt others,
heal yourself first. Heal your own wounds.
Treat yourself with compassion. Give yourself permission to forgive yourself. You can only love others as much as you love yourself.
When people hurt you, love them back. Hurt people need the most love.
Treat them with compassion. Forgive them. They can only love you as much as they love themselves.
Hurt people hurt people.
Daily, I look for ways to increase my performance in life, physically, mentally, emotionally, & spiritually.
Mind, body, & spirit.
I challenge myself.
Daily, I try to find purpose in my pain and accept it, wipe away fears, embrace my true self, live my design, give generously, and live my potential.
Living a High-Performance Life.
Every day I want to expand in all dimensions. Anything but expansion, love, and compassion are not living my responsibility.
The responsibility of being the best version of myself possible.
In order to live a High-Performance Life, I must recognize that hurt people hurt people.
I can either react – and hurt them back…
Or live my true essence – and treat them with compassion. Dignity. Love. Hope.
However, I need to first recognize my fogs – hurt, pain, and anger, – inside of myself
first. I must allow the fog to lift.
As the fog lifts, compassion and love shine.
And when they shine, the world begins changing.
Because you feel from the world…
…what you give the world.
Loved people love people.
But the love must be internal. Yourself. You must love yourself first.
Love yourself infinitely, absolutely, and unapologetically, and everyone benefits.
Love the world, love others, love everything, and they love you back.
Loved people love people.
Your true essence.
Shine your light for all to see.
A version of this post was previously published on mikekitko.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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