Long ago in my fiascos in dating, I swore off men with children. There are many reasons behind my decision, but at the top of the list is the fact that I’m selfish. I have no problem admitting that I work hard for everything I have, and I don’t need anybody’s little disrespectful ass kids romping on my furniture, breaking my things, and being little jackasses in my house.
I can think of so many better ways to waste my money. Namely, on myself.
However, I really had a serious discussion with myself about it because of the man I most recently wasted my time with. He had not one child, not two, but five. Five children. Two babies’ mothers.
I can’t even fucking tell you. Really, just if I think of something, but right now, I got nothing.
I honestly was going to commit though. With no reservations. This is why:
He is the brother of my longtime friend, and any conversation with him feels like home. It was so easy between us. The attraction was there. The spark. I could work with everything else, but finding those points with anyone, especially all of them with one person…
That’s a keeper.
Here’s the craziest part- it wasn’t even me who folded. It was him. He gave me some dumb ass line about still having trauma. The trauma part wasn’t the line. The fact I know he was just in a relationship with someone else 3 months ago was the dumb ass line of the excuse.
I’ve worked through enough of my own trauma to the point I didn’t respond with animosity. I simply told him, “no harm, no foul”, and that we’d call it a day. In all honesty, there was harm. There was certainly a foul. But why put that on him? He has 5 kids to support, his life is fucking ridiculous enough. I’ll shoulder the other shit, just as a favor to his kinfolk.
So, as far as fumbling through love, it seems I am still just as unsure in the footing as I have always been. I’m Stumblina in the aisles of love, I can’t get my shit together to save my life.
But, as much as I thought I would never be able to again, I gave it all I had. And the lack of reservations left some scarring, but that will fade over time. I loved without fences, though, and I’m proud of myself for that.
Because those fences were erected for a reason. I’m glad I installed gates, though. Would have fucking sucked to have to climb all those damned panels.
—
This post was previously published on April Hawkins, Ask A Bitchface.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
How to Lose a Guy Forever ……. | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything | ..3 Things You Didn’t Know He Wants in Bed | .12 Signs She’s Woman You Should Marry |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: April Hawkins