A breath of fresh air
Idon’t have a publicist, at least in the traditional sense. I manage all my PR affairs by networking, building relationships and playing the game smart. Though I work with freelance publicists sometimes, and publicists on a project-by project basis; I’m a private person that tries to keep most of his personal life personal, including financial information though that is already out there. I like to separate my public persona, and my private life, what I do behind the scenes that is my life, shouldn’t be a public discussion. I’m a strong proponent of this. No matter how famous I become, I will more than likely never walk around with security and an entourage.
I’m just as human as you, I still wipe my ass (I use water but you get the point). I still need groceries from the local save a lot or aldi’s. Fame is the concept of a large number of other humans being aware of your existence, and the fact this gives some public figures the green-light to become egotistical, stuck-up, arrogant, or in layman’s terms “letting it get to their head,” is utterly ridiculous. I find pleasure in the fact that I simply did good work, recognition is nothing but a bonus and shouldn’t ever be the main course you derive fulfillment from.
I find it that when you’re more down-to-earth, genuine, and overall a person of virtue and positive energy, fans are more likely to give you space. Take Keanu Reeves for example, he’s a superstar that goes out to eat just like anyone would, simply taking the occasional photo or autograph without being mobbed. He doesn’t have a bodyguard, team of security at all, and still uses public transport. Keanu is a shining example of someone who breaks all the bogus norms and expectations that surround celebrity culture. Another shining example would be Epictetus. Being known by other members of your species, race, the real meaning of race and not the skewered social construct it’s become today- doesn’t make you better than anyone. This isn’t to say if you’re a celebrity, or famous person, don’t use security, just ask yourself if it’s really necessary. If your an extremely famous household name, it may just be. Otherwise a life of peace, modesty, and virtue always triumphs over an excessively lavish stereotypical celebrity or rich person’s lifestyle. Don’t let some external source like fame control your happiness, sure fame is nice to have, but don’t chase it. It’s nothing but a sludgy byproduct that you should appreciate and be grateful for, but only that. That’s the extent of it. Don’t become a narcissist, and don’t become hinged on bad press or hurtful comments left by haters. Which brings me on to the next point.
The deep dark side
Being in the public eye is, in essence, a sub-job in of itself. You must avoid reading comments at all costs on any projects you’ve worked on or social media posts as these will mentally destroy you. People will hate you for absolutely no good reason other than being perceived as a popularly vulnerable target. People are cruel, full of jealousy, envy, and hatred. They will more than likely get under your skin if you choose to let their words seep in. I have admittedly been a victim of this construct being in the public eye poses. Oh and, avoid reddit at all costs, reddit is the worst of them all. Your life will constantly be evaluated and judged, you can try to keep your personal life personal, but even a tree can’t hold every ounce of its sap. There will be articles written about you with information you didn’t make public, yet someone, somewhere in the world decided to do extensive research on it and leak it. Even with the right publicist, or positive media image, there is a chance there will be at least one article or post completely shitting on you and everything you stand for. This bad press is detrimental to your mental health and overall well-being.
It can, and likely will, come with a heavy dosage of anxiety, panic attacks, and paranoia. There have been days where I looked my name up on google and other search engines, shaking weeding out negative press of any kind about me, and when you do find it, your heart drops. This form of doomscrolling is blatantly bad for your mental health and must be avoided at all costs. Though the conscious thought that there’s bad press out there about you can already be worrying enough, and this can destroy you.
You are forced to develop tough skin, and disregard the opinions of others, as this is an inevitable part of being in the public eye. There have been days I’ve been completely burned out and mentally exhausted from the impertinent comments left by strangers who don’t personally know me. The younger you are in the limelight, the worse this will be. All of this scrutiny can cause stress, anxiety, and worse case scenario, depression.
Fame is felt like overnight experience rather than a gradual incline, though it is a gradual incline. There will be rumors, potential stalkers, & paparazzi. Identity crisis, a change in your personal relationships, potential death threats, you’re held up to stratospheric level standards and expectations. & finally, potential extortion.
Don’t even get me started on the immense pressure. Always having to do something new and interesting, interviews, gigs, simply keeping your name in the press. Did you know that the life expectancy of pop stars are a whole 25 years less than those who chose to stay anonymous? Accidental death rates were between five and 10 times greater. Suicide rates were between two and seven times greater, and homicide rates were up to eight times greater than the US population. Fame is extremely bad for your health. Many celebrities struggle with their mental health, including anxiety, depression, body image issues, and other mental struggles with their health.
You still want to be famous?
How to view fame
Don’t vilify fame, and don’t praise it. Fame is simply neutral, on one hand it gives you the power to do things on a large scale whether that’s inspire people, or philanthropy. On the other hand, you may die sooner, and suffer more than your average Joe. In either scenario, don’t chase it. It’s not up to you, and it’s not worth chasing in the slightest. It’s nothing more than excrement. You’re probably happier than your favorite celebrity. Money, power, and fame can’t give you happiness; they are mostly, if not completely irrelevant to your happiness. Chasing fame will only reward you with disappointment and burden. Focus on doing good work for the world, and if you garner fame as a byproduct, so be it, but remember it does not define your character or say anything about you. Nor does your money for that matter. Don’t lose your integrity, and stay down-to-earth at all costs.
The psychological dependence you may develop also is detrimental to your well-being. Fame is an addiction, a serious one at that and should be treated as such. You can become reliant on the adoration and validation of the masses. If and or when the fame fades, you can experience all the symptoms a former druggie would. Don’t focus too much on it, acknowledge it, but don’t let it consume you. So much so to the point you would not be fazed if your fame were to wane. Find pleasure and fulfillment in the self-respect you gain out of the good work you do, as this is all that truly matters. Fame is only a bonus, a very taxing bonus, so don’t attach your identity to what others write and think about you.
One simply cannot achieve true happiness through the accumulation of externally derived things and impression, certainly which includes fame and money.
Fame and money are to happiness just about akin to how taking heroine and cocaine are to happiness. Addictive, causing intense craving, with a high potential for loss and/or downward spiral left wanting more and more, chasing the dragon into the hole.
We are sold the bill of goods to buy into the materialistic paradigm of success. However, this is not what begets true life success. It is superficial. It lacks substance. As such, a sense of despair and suffering is only increasing within the ever more pronounced materialistic and superficial mentality that is being brainwashed into most people through the inundation of all types of media
This abyss of valueless and meaningless bottom feeding, shallow water, lowest common denominator purveyance that prevails is proving to create greater depression and dissatisfaction. More and more people are feeling lost, distraught, and burned out as well it seems.
There are those things that in the end are largely empty, devoid of real value and substance, as well as those that are of value and substance, thus are fulfilling.
Seek what offers true substance and fulfillment, not what offers what can be seen as an empty, superficial, glossy mirage, the illusion of what weak-minded norms impose as to create the delusion that such things have actual value to your happiness and well-being; such that dictate how most think and act and why most are left with greater craving and suffering and less satisfaction and true happiness.
Personal development, along with finding meaning, purpose, and true fulfillment, is what affords “True” life success. This paradigm is substantial. It provides the substance to afford “true happiness”.
True success in life is derived inwardly, not externally.
With all that in mind, take heed to make the wise choice on what to prioritize.
Fame is neither good or bad, if you have it be grateful and don’t let it hypnotize you. Otherwise, don’t worry about it in the slightest, do good work, and your work will take good care of itself and reward you. Fame is not a reward, only an excrement that’s not necessarily repulsive, but addictive. True success in life is never external.
Thanks for reading
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: Radu Florin on Unsplash
