I met my husband 4 years ago, and we moved in together pretty quickly. We develop our relationship in time, and we realized that we make a great team.
But, the road to this realization was long. I’ve never thought that I will be capable to love unconditionally. If someone would be told me that before meeting my husband I would call them crazy.
Not in a million years, I was thinking that my future husband will be the one who will teach me how to accept my flaws, my limiting beliefs, and my ups and downs.
Being in a relationship is hard work. Prepare to get your hands dirty and your heart broken. When I was dating my husband I didn’t know what a relationship stands for.
‘’Be cute and fun and your relationship will last forever’’.
This was my mantra for my relationship. I never knew that a relationship will require hard work. I was blind. I was mesmerized by the gentle kisses.
No movie and no book showed me how to be in a relationship after things get serious. I didn’t know anything about relationships and went it came to the chapter on acceptance, I was a novice. How could I accept somebody else when I don’t know how to accept myself?
And this was one of the many lessons that I’ve learned during our relationship. How can I nurture a powerful love for my husband when I feel that accepting his flaws is like stepping on me and my being?
To accept the fact that he is messy, unorganized, sometimes late, sometimes annoying, or that sometimes likes to play all day long Fifa than to stay with me.
I wasn’t comfortable with all his minuses so I decided to leave.
‘’I’m exhausted, I can’t’’
Then I would take some walks around the block and then I would come back home with the realization that
‘’I will not leave just because he throws 3 shocks on the floor’’.
I wanted to escape the need to accept something that I didn’t like. It was like an act of freedom when I would exit the building.
Much later, I will conclude that he was just a mirror, and he showed me what I didn’t like about myself.
I punished him for the fact that I was not willing to accept my flaws.
Read that again.
📌Unwilling to ask him how his day was because I was too preoccupied with my phone
What I recognized in him was already in myself.
He is not perfect and nor do I.
When I’ve seen my behavior, acts, and words, I started to think. ‘’Maybe I’m not so perfect as I taught I was’’. For the first time in my relationship, I was willing to take a step back and say ‘’I’m not right’’.
He wasn’t my enemy, he showed me parts of myself.
Judging him for his imperfection I would judge myself for not being as smart and perfect as I would thought I will be.
Starting to accept your partner’s flaws is a journey where you start to accept your minuses too.
When you are indulgent with yourself, you become indulgent, carrying, and loving with others.
I want to hear more stories regarding this topic and that is the way I’m creating this challenge:
How do you accept the flaws and imperfections of your partner?
- All writers are welcome to this challenge (there is no deadline)
- Mention the original challenge in your article
- If you don’t want to be mentioned here please leave me a private note
This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit:Mei-Ling Mirow on Unsplash