I Started Sharing Some Thoughts on TikTok

A while back I was talking to a guy that I know. He’s a marketing and PR visionary who lives in Manhattan. He’s a frequent contributor to national television programs.

“Colleen,” he said. “You are the shoemaker’s daughter. You’re an expert in your field why aren’t you doing what you know you should be doing?”

“I don’t want to get on television looking like this,” I joked.

“I get on television all the time with my double chin,” he said.

He’s a handsome guy. He was being self-deprecating. He wasn’t wrong about me. I have a marketing and PR background. I transitioned into a relationship writer/expert.

I knew I should be promoting my work.

I also knew something else.

Years ago I was a contractor at an NBC affiliate. Camera work isn’t necessarily about how someone looks. It’s an energy from within. The camera either loves you, or it doesn’t.

The end of my marriage, and my divorce had taken everything out of me. I don’t mean strictly physically. I mean emotionally too. My light was gone. I was (as I often say) dead inside.

I couldn’t translate well in person, let alone on camera.

Fast forward to the present.

I’m walking and I run into one of my neighbors. We both have business backgrounds. I’ve discussed this topic with her.

“Did you make a video yet?” she asks.

“Nope,” I say. “Not yet.”

In the next moment, she cleverly calls my bluff.

“Really?” she says. “Still putting off making a couple of short videos? I’m off to write code for the app I’m developing.”

“Okay,” I say while laughing. “Point well taken.”

Her tactic worked.

The next day I recorded my first video.

It’s not only about elevating my work. I’ve spent years in the counseling, and research of love and relationships. In that time, I’ve developed a unique perspective.

I do have thoughts I’d like to share.

There’s something else.

When a relationship is struggling, it’s emotionally noisy.

You’re lost in a barrage of feelings. You’re existing in the day-to-day. You want solutions and can’t necessarily find them. You want your significant other to work with you but you’re often on your own.

But once in a while something cuts through that noise.

You hear a quote, or someone says something to you and it provides clarity.

It could be incredibly simple but it shifts your thinking.

It makes you recognize the problem in your relationship, or the error of your ways, or a cycle that keeps repeating, or the need to get out of a relationship, or how to improve your relationship.

It helps you love better.

It helps you love either yourself, or your spouse better.

I’ve only made a few videos. As I’ve just mentioned, I’ve intended them to be simple thoughts. People struggling in relationships don’t always need a lot of words.

I’ve included them if you want to take a look at them.

Three out of the four are about respect.

I did reference the fact that I’m a relationship writer, not political. But during these political times I thought they were the right quotes to begin with.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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