If He Doesn’t Do These 5 Things, He’s Not Your Person

The search for love can sometimes feel never-ending. And when you think you’ve finally found the one, there will always be a big defining moment: a time when you realize he either is (or isn’t) your person.

Let’s take the rose-colored glasses off and take a closer look at some of the red flags that many of us miss. If he doesn’t do these 5 things, he’s not your person.

1. Choose You Early On

The person you’re meant to be with will choose you clearly and early. You won’t have to decode mixed signals or wonder where you stand. Their intentions won’t leave you feeling confused or trapped in a situationship.

You’ll never have to question if they want to be with you. You’ll know. Their feelings will be clear in both their words and actions. When the connection is genuine, they won’t hesitate to define the relationship early on.

2. Respect Your Boundaries

Healthy partners respect boundaries. If your “no” threatens the relationship, or if he continues to push you to agree to whatever he wants, then you know he’s not the one.

Your person will always be respect whatever boundaries you implement. And if he doesn’t, he’s not your person.

3. Stay Consistent

A partner who you can count on will always be consistent. It doesn’t matter if life is complicated. The right person will never disappear during times of inconvenience. They’ll be there to support you, no matter what curveballs life throws at either of you.

If you go through periods of wondering when you’ll hear from him or see him again, he’s not your person.

4. Take Accountability

The truth is, everyone argues from time to time. Conflict is normal in a relationship. What determines whether someone is meant for you is how they handle conflict.

The right guy will always take accountability for his actions. He’ll acknowledge his mistakes and try to make things right. The wrong guy, on the other hand, will never take accountability for his actions. He might even try to blame you.

5. Bring You Peace, Not Chaos

Many of us get addicted to the highs and lows in a toxic relationship. Studies have even found that a toxic relationship can be as addictive as cocaine or gambling.

But the truth is that love isn’t supposed to feel like an emotional rollercoaster. It’s supposed to bring peace.

If he doesn’t make your nervous system feel calm, he’s not your person.

The Bottom Line

Being able to spot the red flags in your relationship can help you determine whether someone is right for you. The truth is, not every red flag comes about dramatically. Some tend to be more subtle and easier to miss. Keeping these five factors in mind will help you determine if he’s your person or if it’s time to move on to the next.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.