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There’s a part of you that’s keeping love at bay and that’s the reason you’re not getting it.
It’s not the women.
Or your looks.
Your bank account.
Your body.
Or anything else external that you think you can blame as the reason why you’re still single.
It’s your mindset … and your attitude.
It’s your sense of self-worth that’s been battered and bruised in the past whispering to you that you don’t deserve it … and you listen to it & eke yourself out of the game.
So that you can live a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now I know that’s hard to hear — I’m swinging the big ones today, but you need to understand that you’ve got control over your love life.
WAY more than you think.
And I can already hear the protests of ‘yeah but I’m bald, fat, shy, not rich etc‘. These are stories you’re concocting — putting meaning around aspects of yourself which affects your behavior — thus your results.
But the REAL reason? The reason why you’re single?
Is because you’re using those statements as a way to reject yourself before she can.
You’re taking yourself out of the race so that you can be right about your lack of worthiness.
Now, don’t worry; you’re not alone. There’s a whole entire planet of us operating in the same way. Projecting our childhood wounds and using them as our shields … not realizing that the enemy is within us.
And to stop this pattern so you can attract love in your life, you need to do the following:
1. Heal Your Childhood Wounds
Attachment issues, neediness and scarcity thinking will keep you pushing love away. You’ll jump into relationships, love-bomb them & become codependent … IF they stick around.
So get the help you need to uncover your childhood wounds and make peace with them. Train yourself out of getting emotionally attached to every woman you hook up with & focus on becoming stronger, resilient & more confident every day.
2. Drop The BS Stories
So you’re bald? Big deal! Wear it with pride. My Dad was bald at 26 and he’s been happily married for 32 years … it’s not a reason (or excuse) to avoid letting a woman love you.
You’re shy? Stop hiding. You’ve got an amazing personality under there that you’re not showing, thus depriving women of getting to know the real you.
When you say you’re shy, you act shy. It’s not a mental illness, it’s you holding yourself back from fully being yourself around people.
Complaining there are no women around? Stop complaining & open your eyes. Change the story to ‘there is an abundance of women‘ – and watch them appear magically before your eyes.
3. Make Yourself Feel Good Instead Of Punishing Yourself
The self-flagellation is killing you. The more you put yourself down, the worse you’ll feel. As cute as Eeyore is, he’s a pain in the ass (see what I did there?).
You’re not Eeyore — so reframe those put-downs and do things every day to make yourself feel amazing!
4. Open Yourself Up
The negativity closes you off to so many opportunities (like the love of an amazing woman) because the little voice inside of you is like that toxic friend that won’t quit.
You’re so blinded by your negativity that women are feeling attracted to you — maybe even showing it — but you’re blowing them off because you don’t realize they’re interested.
I could go on an on about this topic; it’s one close to my heart. Because yes, I’ve had to work through my own stories and wounds to overcome the things that blocked me.
You deserve to attract love into your life … and you will! Just so long as you open yourself up & let it happen instead of holding onto the things that hurt you.
Ains 🙂
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Originally Published on Reddit
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Photo Credit: Getty Images