You can achieve your goals simply by changing the way you look at them.
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Usually around this time of year, I chat with several people who tell me what they plan to change in the New Year.
I’m losing 15 pounds this year, I swear.
I’m changing my work habits.
I’m not going after *bleep*-holes anymore!
I am curious as to what is the core reason why someone would want to turn their ship in an opposite direction.
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These and a laundry list of other phrases are what I hear each year. I tend to be snarky and prod further into the soon-to-be-broken resolution. Why? Because I am curious.
I am curious as to what is the core reason why someone would want to turn their ship in an opposite direction. Is it true happiness? Is it vanity? Is it to impress someone else? Is it just for a change of pace?
So after I listen to this person describe what they plan to do, I ask my question.
Soooooo What’s Your Why?
Cue the deer-in-the-headlights look … NOW!
The blank stare I receive back confirms that some folks (and yours truly) often don’t have our ducks in a row when it comes to life changes. And, if we don’t have said ducks in a row, it can be difficult to stick with the change.
Allow me to explain.
I used to start off the year with a laundry list of goals and resolutions. It really was quite large. They always included being in better shape, reading more, spending less time on social media and putting every extra penny I could into savings and investments.
I did this for 2013 – and about 40 percent of them happened.
Tried it again in 2014 – got a little more traction but still wasn’t achieving exactly what I wanted to. Things were slipping by the wayside and/or falling through the cracks.
Five-dollar lattes start to get the boot because $1260.00 a year looks much better thrown at a mortgage than it does Starbucks.
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As I sat down to go over what I planned to do in 2015, I couldn’t shake this one simple question.
Why had I failed to meet the objectives?
Then it dawned on me. The answer to my question was the first word of my question.
Why?
Why was I doing the things I was? Why was I wanting to make the changes that I planned to? Why was I driven to this? What was my motive behind all this?
What Was My Why?
That’s a transformative question. It takes a little to wrap your mind around something like that. It’s easy to say superficial things like, “I work out just to look better.” “I want to make a lot of money to drive a nicer car.” “I want to do so much that impresses people.”
Do you know what the ironic thing is about the statements above? They are all pretty easy to achieve – and even give up on.
What if we changed the why from “I want to look better” – to – I want to be healthy enough to enjoy generations of my family.
What if we changed “I want to drive a nicer car” – to – I want to change my family’s financial tree forever.
What if we changed “I want to impress people”– to – I want to leave an undeniable mark on other people’s lives.
Those statements become a bit different don’t they? They go from a short-term resolution to a life long mission. They become guiding posts by which to live our lives. You begin to say “no” to a doughnut, not because it might bloat your gut but because enough doughnuts will cause some long-term health effects. Five-dollar lattes start to get the boot because $1,260.00 a year looks way better thrown at a mortgage than it does Starbucks. To have people say that your volunteerism changed their life is a much better driver than a conversation topic at a cocktail party with a person whom you’ll likely never speak to again.
You Get The Picture By Now.
So when I began thinking about my goals or resolutions for 2016, it really made things a lot simpler for me. When I truly asked myself what my why was.
It was simple.
I got engaged right before Christmas and shortly thereafter, my new fiancé pointed out something that gave me tremendous pause.
“When we get married, it’s like a whole new family starts.”
My main goal, from this point out is very simple; I aim to be a constantly improving man in the personal, professional, financial and spiritual areas of my life.
And my why is pretty simple: my new family deserves nothing less than a constantly improving leader.
So I challenge you on your resolutions to answer the question.
What Is Your Why?
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Photo:Flickr/Kelly Teague