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We mistakenly teach children that when they do what they are supposed to, things work out, or rather “bad things” don’t happen.
I think that’s the biggest fallacy.
I lost my first job after college. I did what I was supposed to do. Came to work on time, was a team player, stayed late when necessary, but that didn’t save my job. The bill collectors didn’t care either. They didn’t care that I had never been late. There was no grace.
Hell, I don’t think my parents cared. They did not provide a safety net. I think my dad literally said, “You’ll figure it out.”
The fact that I had done everything within my power to NOT end up in that position did not matter. This was the first time I realized that when you follow a formula of doing what you’re supposed to, you don’t always get what you want.
Studying for the MCAT reinforced that lesson. I studied hard. I scored well on my practice test, but on the real test, my score made it seem like I hadn’t prepared at all.
I had the opposite happen when I took the LSAT. I barely studied for the LSAT. I only started studying for it a month before the actual test and I still didn’t study consistently. But I was accepted to law school with a scholarship.
My miscarriage was a reminder that things don’t always work out when you do what you’re supposed to do. Actually, the entire process of trying to conceive reminded me of this.
My new status as a divorcee further reminds me of this.
I think we do children a disservice when we teach them that when they do what they are supposed to, they get the results they want. That simply is not true.
God, the Universe, may have plans for you that are different than the plans you have for yourself and try as you might, your plans will not trump God’s plan for your life.
I tried to get into Medical school for 6 to 7 years, but I was accepted into Law school the first time I applied.
I think the universe tries to nudge you to go in a different direction, but sometimes we resist. I started seriously thinking about law school about 2 years before I ever applied, but I was afraid of what I might lose, so I postponed it. Guess what, I lost exactly what I thought I would; but I gained so much more.
Instead of teaching children to follow a formula for success, we should teach them the importance of listening to their spirit and accepting the challenges that the journey presents.
I first considered law school in high school. I loved my AP Government class. As soon as I considered it, I allowed fear to talk me out of it. I was a passive child so the adversarial nature of the proceedings scared me. I was told that my voice was high and thought that because of that I probably shouldn’t speak in court. While I eventually found my way back to law, I think my path still had to be. Through that journey, I learned not to shy away from what I want to pursue because of fear. That is a transferable skill.
I will not shy away from dating or love out of fear of heartbreak.
I will not shy away from professional advancement out of fear of failure.
I will not shy away from new endeavors out of fear of the unknown.
Granted, while pursuing love, professional advancement or new endeavors I strive to be spirit led.
My spirit has never misled me. I can recall ignoring my spirit. Sometimes I couldn’t hear it due to all the noise. But those times when I heard it clearly, it was always right.
Teaching children to listen to their spirits would require that adults be more in tune with their own spirit. Accepting challenges that the journey presents removes the victim mentality. This type of preparation leaves no room for “why me?” or “ How come this happened when I did x, y, and z ?”
How better prepared we would be if we were taught to listen to the inner voice and flow with the twist and turns of life.
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This post was previously published on www.medium.com and is republished here with permission from the author.
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