I’m Confused…

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It’s quite a disorientating time for me in my marriage right now. Frankly, I can’t think of a better way to find some balance than to bury my head in my computer screen and answer ten meaty questions from Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire.

Here we go!

The Proust Questionnaire:

1.) What is your perfect idea of happiness?

Happiness looks strikingly similar to number eight on my list, but with an abundance of love, compassion, joy, self-fulfillment, and internal peace that compliments the scene.

2.) What’s your greatest fear?

Rejection.

3.) What is your current statement of mind?

I read and re-read this question while staring out the window on what seems like the rainiest day of the year and thought, Sad. I’m incredibly sad.

4.) On what occasion do you lie?

Every single night — when I tell my son he’s my favorite person in the world, then head straight into my daughter’s room, tuck her sassy-self in, and tell her the exact same thing. They both are, but how do I explain that to a seven-year-old?

5.) What is the quality you like most in a man?

Maturity and Integrity. I picked two, and no-one can stop me.

6.) What do you most value in your friends?

Humor, candor, responsibility, quick-wittedness, and you guessed it — maturity and integrity.

8.) Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

The “F” word — in all its varying forms. (i.e., as fuck, AF, fucking, and fuck) And referring to taking a hard pass/stop on things.

9.) Where would you most like to live?

Italy — where the coffee is strong, the food is indulgently rich, the art is exquisite, and the hospitality is impeccable. (So I’ve heard…)

11.) What is your favorite occupation?

Being a mom. Hard stop. (see, there I go again.)

10.) Who are your favorite writers?

Joe Duncan, Kris Gage (duh), Shannon Ashley, Agnes Louis, Darius Foroux, Rosemary Guerguerian, MD, Emma Austin, Cheney Meaghan, Michelle Monet, Jenny Justice, Ann Litts, Adam, Diabetic Cyborg, Benjamin Davis, Elle Rogers, Yael Wolfe, Kyrie Gray, and Benjamin Hardy, PhD just to name a few.

Also, I am feeling extraordinarily grateful today for writers like Terrye Turpin. Her uncanny quick-witted responses were the missing puzzle piece to a perfect Thanksgiving day for me. I want to thank her for that, and for providing me with a bonus question.

12.) You have volunteered to spend a year in an unpaid internship. What are you doing, and who are you working with?

I’m training in the trenches with the NICU nurses, crying every day after my shift, learning more about life than I had ever imagined possible, and feeling like I am right where I’m supposed to be.

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Thank you for reading and spending time with me today. ❤

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Previously published on Medium.com.

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