Why is receiving seen as such a negative thing? It can be seen as selfish, taking, needy, wrong, etc. Yet receiving is half of the equation for reciprocity – without a receiver, you can’t have a giver.
In this video, below, I explore the receiving end of the equation.
I used to think that receiving was something only women had issues with. But in working with my business partner Bob and supporting more men in our sex and relationship coaching practice, I am realizing this is actually a huge thing for men too. They are not immune to this concept of not being able to receive.
It’s almost like as a society we have all been given this message that the highest form of value is to give, and that value is determined by whoever gives the most or whoever serves the most.
But here’s the thing … if you don’t have someone on the receiving end, how can you give?
Both need to be in place: you need a giver and a receiver for this kind of transaction to take place.
Yet when we think of receiving, we feel like we’re seen as ‘taking’, or being needy, or putting our own needs above someone else’s, basically it’s selfish.
However, I had a mentor of mine point something out to me years ago:
The gist of it was that I receive great joy from giving when someone fully receives my gift, and that I am basically robbing someone of that same joy when I’m not able to be open up and truly receive their gift in return.
Receiving isn’t just about me … it’s about the other person too. I’m giving them the gift of the joy of giving. So it goes both ways.
There’s a joy in giving and a joy in receiving. And we need each other to be able to give and receive that gift.
Another way of looking at it is that our blocking of someone else’s gift is actually selfish. You are making it about you when you can’t receive. But when you can have an open heart and take another person’s offering, there is generosity and love in that act.
So what would it be like for you to look at receiving differently?
This is also linked to loving ourselves … can you be open and allow people to give to you?
The next level of this game would be to actually ask for things we want , but let’s just start here. Exercising the receiving muscle will enable you to feel more comfortable reaching out for support.
Given that receiving and love are seemingly directly connected, what would it be like for you to just open yourself and receive? To accept someone’s gift with gratitude and graciousness, because they are wanting to love you.
Can you open up and receive them and know that you don’t have to do anything to receive that gift in return?
Hoping you are able to open your heart and receive more love, as well as celebrate who you are, which is a beautiful person worthy of receiving love.