Throughout our lives we inherit baggage and gifts. Alcoholism can cascade through generations, but so can resilience, humor, and love. Our noses, our eyes, our laughs—all shaped by this genetic and environmental lottery. Here are some of the items in my inheritance.

From my Father, I received the will to face life with humor and resilience. He taught me to be a strong man and take up the challenges of life with courage and faith. He introduced me to my love of technology and video games. I learned from him that if I mess with something a certain amount of times it will eventually break. Most of all he ingrained within me deep unconditional love and protection.

From my Mother, I received the will to be kind and empathetic. She gave me the ability to have difficult conversations. Passed to me a love of art and writing. I inherited from her selfless giving just for the sake of giving. She also gave me the ability to set and enforce boundaries and showed me how to face embarrassing situations with ease and confidence. She instilled in me the desire to voice my thoughts elegantly and truthfully. Finally she taught me the important role that inner and outer balance plays in life.

From my Brothers, I received the will of brotherhood. Through them I learned to be both a big and baby brother. Together we developed an unspoken and automatic essence of cooperation and teamwork. Thanks to them I have never been alone, not when it counts. By example they showed me how to be myself, by being their own unique selves, with intense strengths that are both the same, and different from my own. Thanks to them I was protected and I always had something to protect . Finally I learned from them to stand up for both myself and for what I think is right.

From my wife, I received the will to Love. She taught me trust by proving herself worthy of trust. Through her I learned what it means to be a husband, and what it means to lead a partnership that is both deep and full of common love. From her I received the ability to look beyond the growth of myself, and toward the construction of our family. She taught me how to accept love by showing true gratitude. Finally, from her, I inherited Kai.

Kai, you will inherit many things from your mother and I. Some of them will be gifts and some of them will be baggage. Gifts we will celebrate, and baggage we will unpack together. I hope above all else you inherit the love, pride, and wisdom your family has for life. I will do my best to pass on as much of the good stuff in me as I can, and to leave as much of the baggage squarely on my shoulders where it belongs.

I promise to teach you what it means to be a man and give you a mindset that can empower you. Along the way, I will make mistakes, I will fail, I will get things wrong (You will do the same, and that’s ok), but I will make sure to give you every ounce of strength that I have and make sure you are never alone in this life.

You will inherit many things from many people, but you will always be uniquely, unmistakably Kai. Take your inheritance and make the best of it you can. Above all, my son, remember to be true to the person that you really are, and know that you are remarkable.

I love you, my son.

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