Despite protests of “being too young”, Taylor Campbell and his (now) wife, Gabrielle, were eager to be married. Here is his beautiful recollection of their blooming romance and marriage.
—
Eloping isn’t hip.
Correction: It’s hip in books and on television and in the lives of your friends’ friends. The idea of two people falling madly in love, getting married, and running off together works in movies and stories. But in the real world where bills are due and student loans are oppressors and people have plans, eloping is reckless—particularly when the lovers are two nineteen-year-olds in their sophomore and junior years of college.
And one night I was walking alone when it dawned on me. I was fully committed to her. I was tired of saying goodbye every night before boarding a train.
|
I married Gabrielle anyway. We eloped in July after a weeklong engagement. She wore her white sundress and I wore my white button-down, and we walked into Borough Hall with two of our closest friends to exchange vows before a judge who wore sneakers and a floral blouse. The process took less than an hour.
♦◊♦
Eight months earlier, on the night we met, Gabrielle was clad in pajamas. I was living on the Lower East Side; she was living in Midtown. Hurricane Sandy had shut down power on Ludlow, and our school attempted to solve the issue of homework and dead iPhones by assigning guys to girls’ dorms in Midtown and in Brooklyn Heights. I ended up at 6C5.
She was recovering from a fever. I convinced her that she needed fresh air, so we went for a walk in Times Square. After that night, we spent every day together. In two weeks, we walked more than fifty miles. After two weeks, we started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. After three, we said the “love” word. Within a month, we had picked four sets of baby names — first and middle — and decided which Latin American country to move to when we graduated.
◊♦◊
It happened fast. And one night in January, I was walking alone through the empty streets of Chinatown — homeward bound from the Grand Street subway station — when it dawned on me that I was fully committed to her. I was tired of saying goodbye every night before boarding a Brooklyn-bound D train. I wanted to bear her burdens and harbor her secrets and fight her battles. I wanted to wake up beside her in the morning and fall asleep with her next to me at night. I wanted to be her husband.
It took a while for us to dismiss the misgivings others imposed on us about marriage. Everything had to do with youth (and the inability to make good life decisions that apparently accompanies it).
Don’t you want to wait until you graduate? Shouldn’t you have a good-paying job first? Don’t you think you should take some time to find yourself? Don’t you want to travel? What if there’s someone better out there? You haven’t even been together for a year — people change.
And my personal favorite: You’re not even old enough to operate the stove.
Everyone’s objections seemed to amount to this deep-seated fear of responsibility and commitment at a young age—and an unwieldy preoccupation with independence.
But we loved each other. And marriage was on our mind. And there is a novel I could write on how my conception of marriage — of its beauty and gravity and divineness — changed after a semester of critically considering it. I must, however, abridge the novel thus: I understand marriage to consist in selfless devotion to another person for a lifetime. And Gabrielle and I were ready to devote ourselves to each other for the rest of our lives. So, I proposed.
And we eloped a week later.
—
Image Credit: Maxine Fileta.
It is great to share lovely romance. Romance is why everything else exists. We got it all twisted and I think our working our way back to Romance with stories like this. I see young couples in love, holding babies in coffee shops and my heart rests knowing the world is going to be just fine. I trust love more than anything else..
I love your story! My husband and I were married when I was just 19, still finishing college. I was 16 and a senior in high school when we met . In our case just as in yours, the commitment to one another was there and so we made the decision to get married a few years afterwards. Although this may not be the case with everyone, and maybe our stories are one of the few successes you ever hear about, it’s definitely a story worth sharing that young love can and does turn into true & lifelong love &… Read more »
Taylor, thank you for sharing your story. I’ve been so curious! Anyway, I understand where Bob Wright is coming from, but I don’t necessarily think you need to do all that. I recommend doing something though. Perhaps a smaller event among those who are dearest to you (your families, close friends, etc), but only if you feel it would bless everyone, including you. This story should remind us to look at our lives and make sure we are not ruled by traditions. Sure, we can have weddings if that is what we want, but we shouldn’t make others feel like… Read more »
My wife and I eloped 38 years ago and we’re still growing strong. Difference is we invited the families at the last minute. We figured we’d save the my family the headache and stress that they went through with my brothers weddings …. Wasn’t pleasant at our ceremony to say the least. Best wishes to the both of you!
Lovely account, I love your writing style. A quick account. My parents met in Brussels when my mother was on a date with another man. They dated for four months before they got married. Mum wanted to elope, Dad was more traditional. She was married in a mini-dress and celebrated with a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. They were best friends for 44 years. They were respectful and affectionate every single day. Both describe ‘just knowing’ the other was for them. Dad had a very successful career and his work is well respected (you’ve probably seen 7 of the films… Read more »
Taylor, I’m sure you will be blessed just as much as I have. I know you will do your best. You might end up teaching some “veterans” a thing or two about what it means to be a husband. I am inspired by your faith, commitment and boldness in the midst of everything. I know how it feels to have doubters, cause i had MANY, but I was also blessed by so much more who believed in us. I know that there are many behind you championing your success. I am in that crowd. Matthew 19:6 … what God has… Read more »
Bob,
You make a great point. Gabrielle and I were of a like mind, in fact, and we are actually in the midst of arranging a ceremony to occur next summer under the Brooklyn Bridge. Close friends and family will be invited, and my brothers are going provide a bit of mood music.
Thanks for reading. And thanks for your comment!
Taylor,
It sounds like you guys are off to a great start. Good luck on the wedding planning.
Congratulations, Your story reminds me a bit of my own story (married 12 years this year). I met a girl who was studying abroad here, we spent a week together and she went back to Russia. We communicated every day for a year long distance (at the time it was mainly email, because dial up was the only option and international calling plans were still absurdly priced). I told almost no one, I didn’t want to be the guy with the hot, Russian girlfriend no one had seen, and I didn’t have a picture to even prove she existed. When… Read more »