Is Marriage Overrated?

A few months back, I was catching up with an old friend I hadn’t been in touch with for a few years. The last time we had spoken she had not been doing so well after finding out that her husband was having an affair with one of the daycare teachers where her daughter attended pre-school.

He told her was leaving the marriage for this woman. It was a devastating situation.

“I’m sorry we lost touch. How are things with you ?”

She looked really happy, much happier than she had been in years, even while she was married.

“I’m doing great! I reconnected with my high school boyfriend earlier this year and now we’re together. And…..he recently moved in with his daughter. Things are great!”

She paused for a minute.

“I am not getting married again though for a long time. Maybe ever!” She laughed and winked.

I smiled back at her with a knowing smile.

I was really happy that she had moved on and had found love again. Her husband hadn’t been very loving to her at all during their marriage.

I had lost touch with her while I was dealing with my own marital problems.

I was having my own issues moving out of my house and dealing with my divorce. I hadn’t had much time for socializing or staying in touch with anyone. I had isolated myself as I wasn’t ready of answer all the questions that would inevitably follow.

About a month after I moved out of my house, a mom I was friends with at my kids school had been asking me questions about my divorce settlement and parenting agreement as she was filing her paperwork.

She had recently found out her husband of many years met a woman at the gym and was moving out to start a new life with her. The situation made no sense to me as they had just moved into a beautiful new home in the area and they had two young children. Both of their families lived nearby and they did everything together.

They seemed to have the perfect life and the perfect marriage.

At least that’s what it appeared to be from the outside looking in.

“The worst part about it is the way he went about it. I had to find out he was done with the marriage by him having an affair with some rando woman. I never want to be married ever again.”

I really felt terrible for her. This wasn’t at all what she signed up for when she said her wedding vows.

Why do so many marriages have to end this way?

…

In May 2024, the US Census Bureau reported married couple households made up 47% of US households in 2022, down from 71% in 1970. It also reported that in 2021 marriage hit an all time low.

Additionally it was reported that 25% of 40 year olds were never married, compared to 6% in 1980.

…

That’s definitely not the end of the story though. Although divorce rates continue to climb, the majority of divorcees remarry.

For individuals aged 55 and older, remarriage is on the rise as indicated by research conducted the Pew Research Center.

It seems like although many of us have gone through a rough divorce, we are still looking to find our true love and have our happy ending. Even if it didn’t quite work out for us the way we had hoped the first go around.

Hope springs eternal for us hopeless romantics.

A few years after my friend’s divorce, I noticed a new post to her Facebook feed, with her hand sporting a very nice and shiny piece of bling on her hand.

The post was entitled “I’m engaged!”

I guess we should never say never, right?!

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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