I arrived at the park on a beautiful sunny spring day in Dublin and while walking towards the middle of the park where I normally like to sit whenever I have a picnic with my friends, I spot a very beautiful and seemingly respectful couple together. They were both wearing dark sunglasses and laughing while talking about something I’m sure they both love and find funny. The day was sunny and warm enough for the guy to be shirtless at the park and his girlfriend was laying her head on his chest; close enough to his mouth as they were kissing a couple of times.
When I saw them both, I looked around and noticed that it wasn’t hard to spot a few other couples together doing the same thing. That’s when I thought to myself:
“It must be amazing to be able to do all of that and NOT be questioned, ridiculized, or even threatened by someone at the park.”
They weren’t doing anything wrong. They were respectful and just enjoying a beautiful sunny and warm day at the park as a straight couple. But the fact that they’re straight allowed the guy to have the privilege of being shirtless and the girl to be laying her head on his chest.
It must be amazing to be able to take off your shirt in public and let your girlfriend lay on your chest while kissing and laughing and enjoying a beautiful sunny day.
It must be amazing…
…
It was a random chilly day in December when I saw a straight couple walking down the streets holding hands together. They were doing nothing wrong and they seemed to be heading to a fancy restaurant as they were both dressed up and looking perfectly gorgeous.
As they walked down the street, nothing really happened to them (And nothing was supposed to happen. They were just walking down the street holding hands together). This beautiful straight couple was not doing anything wrong at all, and I’m sure they were enjoying the freedom they had.
Well, here I am again hearing one more time a story of a friend of mine who got beaten up in the streets of Dublin DURING THE DAY because he was holding hands with his boyfriend in public. A group of young Irish men gathered around them and started calling them homophobic names while hitting them hard enough until one of them started bleeding.
It must be amazing to have the privilege of doing something so inoffensive, harmless, and lovely. It must be amazing to do that without having to check who’s around and if it’s safe.
My straight friends who are in a relationship don’t fear holding hands in public. In fact, one of them laughed as I asked this question because she didn’t understand why this should be an issue… She said, “Of course, I don’t feel unsafe when I’m holding hands with my boyfriend.” Little does she know that this harmless act is actually such a dangerous thing to do as a gay man. We have to check our surroundings a million times and make sure that we are doing this in the “right place”, otherwise we can be the next ones beaten up on the streets…
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God.
Salvation.
Jesus.
Three words I can’t say anymore as a gay man.
“Yes, I believe in him and I love attending church. It’s where I feel so welcome and loved.”
“I found my community and my extended family at church.”
“My favorite thing in church is worship as gospel music truly connects me to God.”
Well, another very straight privilege to have.
It must be amazing to be able to choose a religion and follow it without being questioned.
It must be amazing to be allowed, and I will say that again: TO BE ALLOWED, to believe in something bigger than you.
It must be amazing to walk into church and praise the God you believe in. It must be amazing.
It really must be…
When I say I believe in God or that I believe I have a relationship with God, I’m always questioned.
People doubt the fact that a gay man can be his gayest self and still be loved by Jesus without having to worry about doing any sort of conversion (gays are expected to go to church so they can “go back to being straight”)
It must be amazing…
It must be amazing to open the Bible and see that a word that “describes” who you are wasn’t purposely added for your people to be oppressed.
And speaking of oppression in the church…
It must be amazing to feel safe.
To be SAFE.
To not have to worry about being unalived.
It must be amazing…
It must be amazing to follow God in communion with others without having your whole identity questioned.
Oh, and what about weddings?
It must be truly amazing to be able to walk down the aisle and marry the one you’ve chosen for yourself.
You know, when you meet someone, fall in love with them, and then decide to be with that person forever?
Oh gosh, it must be a blessing to do that without being told that I will forever burn in eternity.
We don’t choose who we love. Love chooses us, right?
We don’t choose who we are naturally attracted to…
Oh, but that is another thing that must be amazing to have. A natural attraction to someone and never get questioned.
It must be amazing to have a crush on a girl (or a girl on a boy) and all of that be celebrated and never questioned.
OH, MY GOD, it must be fucking amazing…
I honestly don’t know what it feels like, but it truly must be something out of this world.
Can you imagine that?
Falling in love and that being okay to happen…
It must be AMAZING!
Can you imagine sending letters to your crush in your teenage years and no one, and I mean, NO ONE seeing that as a perversion?
Imagine those teenage couples who just hold hands together… the first innocent kiss. The stories and the beauty of innocence of first lovers.
No one saying it’s too early to decide that “it’s what you like”
No one is to say that it is against God.
No one to intervene.
No one to pray for you to change.
It must be amazing!!! It really must be fucking amazing.
Unfortunately, a kind of privilege that only straight people get to experience!
Watching Britain’s Got Talent the other day on Tik Tok and I see a video of two kids (a boy and a girl) and they both talked about how they’re going to get married. The crowd finds it the cutest thing in the world. I mean, they’re just kids. Their words didn’t seem inappropriate at all. But what caught my attention was how her saying: “He’s my future husband” is a very socially acceptable thing to say. No one in the crowd seemed uncomfortable. No one protested against them. Now, imagine if it were two boys saying that live on TV for the entire world to see. Imagine two 8-year-old boys saying “Because he’s my future husband”. It’d be too early for them to “decide”, right? It would be immoral, right? It would be too much, right? They’d be pushing an agenda on the crowd, right? So, that’s why it must be amazing to be able to do that without having your existence questioned. IT MUST BE AMAZING.
Every time I come across these situations (which by the way are just a few out of the hundreds of thousands), I say to myself: “It must be amazing to be allowed to be you.”
I wish that gays could live their lives without the fear of doing the exact same thing that straight people have done and will always do.
It must be amazing….
…
This article is a protest. It is my rage against the system that oppresses LGBT people. It is against the definition of what is socially normal and acceptable. It is I saying that LGBT people are deserving of love, affection, and most importantly, RESPECT. It Must Be Amazing came from a place of anger whenever I noticed that LGBT people get punished for simply being who they are while doing the exact same things that straight people do. It is sad I have to fight for my place at the table when straight people don’t even have to lift a single finger. It is frustrating. My goal with this story is to say that love, affection, freedom, and respect shouldn’t be a privilege but a right that belongs to everybody. Straight or gay, it doesn’t matter. We are all deserving of love.
…
P.S. — Thanks for reading! If you found this article to be valuable, please clap and follow me! 👏👏👏
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
