“It’s complicated” seems more popular than ever (right up there with “It is what it is”, “It’s not you, it’s me”, and “Think outside the box”). We hear it in relationships, on the job, and even when explaining why we can’t seem to stick to our goals.
I remember when I got tangled up in a situation with too much on my plate while trying to maintain some semblance of family life and my well-being. It was like I was walking through a maze with no exit in sight. But the thing is: it was a maze I built myself!
Once you realize that, you realize that complexity is not an unavoidable fate but a choice we make. This realization naturally leads to the understanding that simplicity is a choice too.
A prison of our own making
When life feels complicated, we feel trapped and stress and anxiety are our close companions. The result is a vicious cycle: we fear change, so we cling to what we know, even if it’s not serving us well.
That is how our comfort zones become the prisons of our own making, where we mistake complexity for security, when in reality it is draining our mental and emotional resources because complicated situations tend to weigh heavily on our minds.
Identifying unnecessary complexity
In our relationships, for instance, we can create complexity when we overthink things, or avoid direct communication, or misinterpret intentions; and in our professional lives, it can happen when we take on too many responsibilities trying to please others. However, some of the main questions we should be asking are:
- Am I holding on to something that no longer serves me?
- Where am I saying “yes” when I should actually be saying “no”?
- What am I avoiding that I need to face?
Keeping it simple
Much like most of the complications in our lives, simplicity doesn’t just happen. It is a practice we have to cultivate.
You can start by decluttering both your physical and mental spaces, establishing boundaries with others, and learning to say “no” to things that don’t align with your priorities, or are merely adding unnecessary stress to your life.
Mindfulness is also another powerful tool for simplifying life. It helps us avoid destructive or automatic habits and keeps us focused on the things that truly matter, making us less likely to complicate situations with unnecessary worries.
Finally, take things one step at a time. Getting rid of the complications in your life doesn’t necessarily mean overhauling everything all at once: small, consistent steps lead to big changes!
Take a moment to reflect on your life. What complexities can you release today to make room for simplicity?
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Behrooz on Unsplash
