It’s not easy to be a finely tuned, well-rounded human being. The world is filled with meticulous, curated beings who are so perfect that they could make a saint weep. The unrelenting beauty of the world is what keeps me fascinated by it, and I’m sure it has the same effect on you.
You probably know a few of these types. They’re the ones who tirelessly work out, have the perfect hair and makeup, are clever in conversation, and have their life completely together.
What about you? How do you stack up against them? Are you one of them, or do you find yourself underwhelmed with your life and comparing yourself to the people around you?
I used to be a person that compared myself to other people all the time. I was frustrated that I wasn’t who I thought I should be or that someone else was more successful than me.
I thought there was something wrong with me because if you compare yourself to the people around you, it means that you aren’t good enough, or you don’t have what it takes to be successful.
The truth is our perception of others is simply a reflection of ourselves. In other words, our thoughts are just an extension of how we feel about ourselves.
If you constantly compare yourself to others, it’s because you feel like you’re not good enough. You feel like there’s something wrong with you.
We all compare ourselves to each other on some level, but the difference between successful and unsuccessful people is that successful people are aware of their thoughts and emotions.
They know when they’re being unproductive or self-defeating, and they take steps to change their thinking.
On the other hand, unsuccessful people are just like a computer that executes commands without questioning them. You could say that unsuccessful people are essentially robots who have been programmed to think they’re flawed.
If you compare yourself to others, it’s because you feel like you’re not good enough or there’s something wrong with you. The only way to break out of that mode is by becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions.
Doing so will help you change your self-image to be the person you want to be. You won’t be comparing yourself to others anymore, and you’ll realize that everything you want is within you.
These Six small actions can get you started on the right path:
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1. Acknowledge your emotional state
If you start to feel a negative emotion, whether it’s envy, frustration, or anger, acknowledge it by saying: “I feel ______ because I compared myself to ______.”
For example: “I feel frustrated because I compared myself to my friend. I’m better than that.”
This will help you identify why you’re feeling a certain way. So if you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, it’s because you feel like there’s something wrong with you.
If you realize there’s nothing wrong with being who you are, feeling negative emotions is no longer a problem.
2. Identify your thoughts and feelings
Once the cause of your negative emotions is identified, you can begin to think about it more objectively.
You can say to yourself, for example: “I feel frustrated because I believe that there’s something wrong with me.”
If you see what you’re saying as a thought instead of the truth, it will help you change your thinking.
3. Ask yourself if it’s true.
Now that you’ve identified the thought behind the negative emotion ask yourself: “Is it true?” It’s ok if there are things about yourself that you want to change.
This isn’t about having an ego. This is about knowing that there’s no need for change if you’re already perfect the way you are.
4. Accept yourself unconditionally.
After identifying your thought and asking yourself if it’s true, you can begin to think more positively. You can tell yourself: “I’m not perfect, but that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me.”
You can also think: “I’m not perfect, but I am good enough. I’m not a robot. I deserve the love and support of others.”
5. Accept that you’re human.
At the beginning of this blog post, I mentioned that being a finely tuned, the well-rounded human being isn’t easy. It isn’t easy because it entails becoming aware of your thoughts and emotions.
One problem with people who don’t pay attention to their thoughts and feelings is that they complain all the time about other people and things in life.
If you want to be able to master your emotions and become a more productive, well-rounded human being, you must accept that you’re human.
You’re not perfect, and that’s ok because nobody is.
6. Be grateful for what you have
Comparison is a huge source of negative emotion. When we compare our present situation with someone else’s, it shows us what we don’t have, making us unhappy. If you find yourself in that situation, it’s ok to be upset about it.
However, you can change your perception by thinking: “I’m not like that person, and I never will be. I don’t need to change anything because I’m already great.”
Here’s a question for you: Are you grateful for what you have?
There are so many people in the world who would give anything to be in your shoes. If you find yourself complaining about things, realize that people would love to have what you have.
If you find yourself having negative thoughts and emotions, it’s because you feel like you’re not good enough or there’s something wrong with you.
Once you acknowledge why your negative emotions exist, then it’s up to you to do something about it. I hope these six tips help.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
 White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
 Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Aleksandra Sapozhnikova on Unsplash
