Just Be a Decent Human Being

I’ll admit it. Much to the chagrin of my mastermind group, I have never completed Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Now, however, accountability is involved. I’ve committed to reading, and retaining, the contents- cover to cover. And I, as should all, take my commitments very seriously. The next time my mastermind meets I will have checked this box. Currently — 81 pages down.

I have a general idea of what the next chapters will comprise, but with all the raving reviews of Carnegie’s key work, I may be pleasantly surprised. Hopefully some anecdote hits me hard in a part of my psyche I have never explored or dwelled upon. But at this very moment, 81 pages in, these heavily overlooked principles are common sense. Just stop overlooking them. Easier said than done.

“The average human being is about 95% selfish in the narrow sense of the term”.

Gordon Tullock, prominent economist

Make others feel important. Show a genuine concern in the needs of others. Remember people’s names. Smile with authenticity. All pretty basic concepts, right? Basic does NOT mean easy, however. Especially not when we as humans are so damn selfish.

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Carnegie’s work is so groundbreaking because, when implemented, serious effect will take place. And I have gathered that without even completing one third of the book. I have actually already implemented it.

For those who are not familiar with my background, I am a real estate investor and landlord that has had quite a bit of success in a short amount of time. I was interviewed by BiggerPockets on episode 129 of the Real Estate Rookie podcast (It will air in a few weeks). Discussed was my achieving financial freedom in 3 years with a zero credit score and three thousand dollars to start.

Landlording/Self management is not easy. In fact, it is the main reason why many never take the leap into rental real estate. “I don’t want to deal with tenants”. Understandable, and a challenge as well. However, this task has helped many, many investors achieve wealth in a shorter amount of time than your company’s 401k.

Friday happened to be the first of the month. Move-in day for a brand new tenant. Fresh off the first three chapters of How to Win Friends and Influence People, I perused her rental application before meeting her at the property. I filled out her portion of the lease, and memorized her name, as well as her partner’s. I studied her employment history, and the type of work. Then came a Google search of common Logistics Coordinator challenges and frustrations. Five minutes of my precious, selfish time at most.

Time to meet, get signatures, and exchange keys. With my new Dale Carnegie infused attitude, I genuinely smiled when they approached. Caught off guard, my new tenants returned the “favor”. They had previously mentioned that their last landlord was far from friendly.

Carrying a box of new furnace filters, I opened the front door and led them into their new residence. We stood awkwardly in the empty kitchen as I dropped the box of furnace filters and put my envelope of paperwork on the countertop. The first question she asked was, “Who are those for?”, pointing with her toe at the box of filters on the ground. “You, Gabby!”, I replied with another smile. She was flabbergasted that her new landlord provided these. She once again smiled back.

We proceeded to sign the lease, and I casually asked between lines about her job at the trucking company. “Logistics coordinator? I bet it gets stressful dealing with the drivers and dispatchers, hey?” Again, shock that I was interested in her essential profession. “You have no idea.” she replied.

We finished signing, and distributed the keys to her and her partner. I wished them luck and healthy backs for their move-in, and reminded her to switch utilities to her name. I made my way eighteen miles north to my own home.

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Photo by Alissa Eady on Unsplash

Uh-oh. Two hours later and already a text from the new tenant. My mind ran through possibilities as I opened up my Iphone to read what I was sure was a problem. To the contrary. It was a heartfelt text from her describing how secure and stable she now feels with myself as her new landlord, and that I took the time to truly connect with her. She had been through a lot during the pandemic, and housing was always a primary concern of hers. I responded with a thank you and a promise to always be attentive to her needs. And I keep my promises.

The next promise to fulfill is to finish reading this book and keep my accountability standing to my mastermind group. I look forward to more common sense human relation gems to focus on and not overlook.

In summary:

Stop being so damn selfish! (It’s hard, I know)

Make others feel important.

Remember names.

Smile authentically.

Listen.

Take time to connect with every human you communicate with.

Easy concepts, but easily dismissed as well. Disconnect, and put yourself in the shoes of the person you are communicating with. Take time to make connections. Really, it boils down to being consciously aware when you are acting from a place of selfish motivation. So stop it. Just stop it.

And as always, if it doesn’t instill fear, it is beneath your true potential.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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