The initial period following a divorce may the toughest time anyone can face. Here are 9 areas you can address to make it easier.
Divorce is painful and undesirable. But, sometimes this is the only way to end an unhappy relationship. Divorce is also a chance to explore happier avenues and to start life afresh. Though this may seem a bit difficult at the onset, things will definitely fall into place with time.
As soon as the divorce is finalized and the papers come in, you need to take the reins of your life in your hands. Though your life is going to change forever, there are surely a few things that will make your initial days a tad easier. Here are 9 places to begin.
You may decide to move out of your partner’s house to a place of your own. In fact, this is a great idea. Your old home may have a lot of reminders of the good times you had shared with your ex. Change of surroundings will definitely help in getting you accustomed to the drastic shift that your heart has to endure.
Immediately after your divorce, you will need money to fend for yourself, especially if you never had a job. The alimony may take some time to come in. If you have some money stashed away in your bank, then you can definitely make do with it. However, if you don’t have any money, get a loan from a close friend or a loved one. You can easily return it when you find a job or get your alimony settlement.
Confidence and Mental Strength
You may have to face a lot of problems and annoying questions after your divorce comes through. What you will need to face this is a lot of confidence in yourself. Don’t let anything or anyone get to you. There might be times when people may hurt you intentionally. Build up your mental strength to face this and more. Your mental strength is will keep you going and even make you immune to the harsh comments and snubs that come your way.
In case you were financially dependent and had been depending on your partner to pay the bills, you will need a job and quickly. Forget the alimony or the maintenance money. Economical independence will fill you with a confidence that no amount of cash in the bank can ever make up for.
A Support System
Divorce is not going to be easy. Other than your life coming around a full circle, you may be devastated and heartbroken. You may want to cry your eyes out and talk to someone who will understand your pain and help you get over it. You need a shoulder to lean on. This could be anyone from your close friend to a family member whom you trust explicitly. In case you can’t find a sympathetic ear in your loved ones, you can always join a support group for newly divorced people. Here, you will be able to meet a lot of people who are going through the same phase as you are. Talking to them may actually make you feel better and lighter.
A Game Plan
While you were married, you and your partner may have made all the decisions together. Now that you are divorced and single again, you need to focus on your expenses and come up with brands you can budget, keeping in view your monthly income. This will give you a fair idea of how you need to go about your day to day life. This will also take your mind away from the worries and hurt that is bound to eat you up post-divorce.
If you have kids, divorce may make things more difficult for you. However, this is not going to be an easy time for your little ones either. You need to spend as much time as you can with your children. When you are at work, it may be a good idea to hire a nanny or a baby sitter. In case you are in a financial crunch, get some help from friends or family who might be willing to help.
Some ME Time
In the midst of all the brouhaha that follows after divorce, don’t forget to care for yourself. No matter how lonely you feel, you really need to spend some time alone to reflect on things and understand them better. Also, there might be times when you get too bored of all the sympathies and need a time out. If you can, head to a quiet place for a few days. If this is not possible, try to take some time out from your schedule to relax alone.
No matter how preposterous this may sound, you definitely need some fun time to take your mind off all the depressing things in your life. This does not mean that you throw a party. Just call your closest friends and chat with them. This would be more than enough to help you feel a bit relaxed. You can even plan to go for a dinner or a movie with your besties.
Doing away with things that remind you of your ex would definitely be a good idea. However, if you are short of money, you can do this later. Wallowing in self pity and self doubt will never help you. So, go ahead and get your life on track after your divorce.
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