I have always enjoyed people well beyond my age. At times I had teachers who I shared a stronger friendship with than with my peers. Older family members, friends of the family, and people in my neighborhood and I shared company in ways that brought a lot of enjoyment to all of us.
First, it would help if older was accompanied by wiser. I see older people participate in playground antics of picking on peers with disabilities or forming cliques just to put someone down because they can and I am disheartened that people cannot just get along already. Also, if one spouse passes away, it seems like the surviving spouse somehow falls through the cracks and loses a lot of social connections that were more present when they were married. Where is the sense in this?
“Be excellent to one another!” – William “Bill” S. Preston Esq. and Ted “Theodore” Logan
Furthermore, I see tremendous opportunities for younger people to benefit from some sort of mentoring, whether it be a formal program or just a natural friendship. A person may not be in the workforce any more, but they still have loads of insights to impart. I think we have this huge resource of people who have led amazing lives who have so much to share and to build others up with but that we are not adequately tapping into.
“Better than a thousand days of diligent study is one day with a great mentor.” – Japanese proverb
Just because someone is not great with gadgets does not mean that they do not have a billion other intelligences to appreciate or that they cannot learn with time. People seem so inclined to judge someone by how connected they are to the internet and to a smart phone, but people lived very intelligent lives before these things and are continuing to live very intelligent lives with little to none of these things.
I think as people age there is a huge temptation to let your hopes die. You are beyond the “best” years in your youth, friends and family you have loved passed away, your career and the respect that it brought you are not a source of immediate esteem by others anymore, certain things that used to come easy for you are not so easy anymore, children grew up and are trying to form the same personhood you were choosing at their age, and a lot of your peers may be miserable in such a manner to where it is hard for you to have relationships where you get to share joy or lightheartedness. I think there is so much more to it than that. The guts and character and vibrancy of the person you have worked so hard to become are just as present as ever. Your accomplishments continue to stand as much as ever – your aging does not negate the tremendous amount of life you have brought and continue to bring to this world. There are so many people younger than you who have very challenging physical, mental, or emotional difficulties so that is not just an “old” thing. You are an incredibly invaluable gift to others. At any age it can be difficult to find the right people who will be friends and family to you, but they are out there. You never age out of being united as a team of humanity with the rest of us.
As a romantic, I appreciate it when people continue to keep their hopes up that they will find love, especially life long singles. Finding someone you love and trust and who has your back may not have happened yet, but why can’t it now? You are older, hopefully wiser, you can use your life experience to show up for a spouse in ways younger people haven’t learned yet, your personality is still quite kicking if you haven’t let your heart die yet, and you are entirely capable of sharing a connection that could bring so much joy to a relationship. You may have lost a lot, but you are in a place that you can gain a lot of new things for yourself and can give a lot of new things to your love as well. You are still here in the land of the living and there are still ways to make the best of it.
“Those who love deeply never grow old. They may die of old age, but they die young.” – Benjamin Franklin
Finally, why does older have to mean uglier? The fashions marketed to older people are hideous! Do designers think that you lose all sense of style as you age?! Apparently so!
Let’s upgrade how we age and how we perceive others who are aging. You’ve got this!
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