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One of the things we seem to find hard to do is to give up our sense of control.
We may think that if we do, then who will be left in the driving seat? Life must chuckle at our arrogance because on reflection, we can surmise that we were never as much in the driving seat as we thought.
Of course, we all have our plans and preferences, and if we’re the focused types, then we work diligently towards those plans or goals with determination and wilfulness. That’s how things get done in the world right?
Yet if we really investigate these matters, we may find that we couldn’t possibly have set up the chain of events that allowed one opportunity to lead to another with such ease.
Could we really have predicted that the first uninteresting job we held just for the sake of making money, was preparing us for something much further down the line that we couldn’t possibly see?
That qualification you gained as part of some work training that you never used and almost forgot you had, somehow five or ten years later, turns out to be just what you need. It qualifies you to offer some workshop or attain some promotion that you wouldn’t have been able to achieve without it.
Life has a broader perspective.
Life has time. It can see what we need LONG before we do. It guides us gently-if we’re willing to listen and surrender or stridently; if we’re not! And as most of us aren’t remotely surrendered then we tend to need a sharp kick to step back on the path life will have us lead.
Perhaps we might need to be made redundant to cause to look at new options. It might be a relationship breakdown or a health issue that causes us to rethink our life direction. Maybe we experience a deep loss, that changes us in some profound way. It softens our arrogance and increases our compassion levels. My premise is that life knows just what we need when we need it. It is able to manipulate events in ways that we couldn’t possibly imagine, to bring us to the next stage on our path.
I once interviewed a very successful yoga teacher who many years previously had taken a 2-day introductory yoga training course with no intention of ever using that qualification. Yet that qualification allowed her to take an opportunity many years later that she wouldn’t have been qualified for otherwise. In fact, she actually resisted following the yoga path, but life knew that this was what she was meant to teach, so guided her seamlessly in that direction.
Where we are as opposed to where we think we should be.
This is another common theme that shows up when we begin to investigate exactly where we are on our paths as opposed to where we thought we should be. We begin to understand that we are continually being asked to surrender some idea of ourselves.
- I’m going to be an accountant.
- I’m going to be a stay at home mother.
- I’m going to be a stockbroker
- I’m going to be earning 200K per annum by this date.
- I’m going to… (add your particular goal here.)
It doesn’t really matter what we say we’re going to do, the fact is that when we are rigid in our views and limited in our perspective, then this limitedness blocks the flow of our lives.
How often have we seen people who feel trapped in their work, but get up relentlessly every day and go to that job year upon year -long past the time that it served them to do so? They look and sound listless when they speak of their work lives.
Their conversations are full of small talk. The light in their eyes becomes dimmer each year. Life is guiding them to try something new, update their skills, or move to another city; but in their resistance to that flow, they miss out on things that would make them feel alive.
How often do we hear of mothers (and sometimes fathers) who have given everything to their children or spouse and then feel lost and lacking in confidence now that the one thing that gave their life purpose, fell away?
Life would have been nudging them gently and guiding them to do more for themselves, to honour their own needs, to balance giving with receiving. But it was only the sense of loss of purpose that finally caused them to listen.
We often ignore the very things that would set us free.
Many people tend to ignore their innate gifts or talents only to discover that these were what they needed to focus on to achieve success.
“You mean this is what I was meant to be doing? I didn’t think this skill or talent was particularly special, it’s just something I do.”
Exactly, it’s something you do naturally, so you take it for granted. This is what life would have been trying to show you all along.
When we let life lead, we become much more attuned to how it wants to support and nurture us. When we stop resisting and instead, begin to trust our life returns to flow. We may even look at events in our lives that feel constricting, with a new awareness.
We may begin to ask: “Okay, what is this constriction trying to reveal to me?” rather than going into panic or shutdown mode.
When you begin to attune to life in this way, then there comes a time when even if the whole world appears to be against you, you somehow remain clear and focused. You know that if you’re on the path you’re meant to take then life will take care of the details. And if you’re not, then new clarity will come to get you back on track.
This sense of confidence in life allows you to feel its flow. “I’m letting life lead,” becomes a new and healing mantra. That state of mind leads you down a path of true fulfilment.
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This article was previously published on LinkedIn and is republished on Medium.
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