
Back in December 2016, Josh and I had a couple of doctor’s appointments. That was nothing new for us. Josh had to get new AFOs for his legs, and then we had a neurology appointment for his seizures.
This was routine stuff that had become commonplace for us since we had to do this at least once a year.
The AFO appointment went off without a hitch. It was with a guy Josh loved to see. In fact, he loved seeing him so much he wanted to bring John a Christmas present.
Josh gifted him a Chicago Bears travel mug, John’s favorite team.
The ribbing and jokes ensued because Josh has always been a Packers fan, and they had just won against the Bears a couple of days before this appointment.
Almost two hours of fun followed.
Life is a Roller Coaster.
…
Neurology was a different story. A number of “minor medical emergencies” had the doctor running behind, so we would need to wait longer than usual.
Josh and I weren’t too bothered. We were having a good time creating our own brand of fun while waiting in the exam room.
We were finally able to see the doctor, and eventually, Josh was in tears. We were heading into hour five between the two events, and he felt overwhelmed.
The doctor told us Josh would need an MRI, which now had to be scheduled, and that started the downward slide.
Hearing about his challenges is still hard for Josh. He doesn’t like being reminded of his problems—the things he sees as lacking due to the hit-and-run collision that caused his injuries.
The doctor tried her best to soothe Josh, but the gates were opened, and there was no stemming the flood at that point.
Once the plan was finalized, the doctor left, and the nurse returned.
Pretty soon, I could see tears in the nurse’s eyes.
She was telling Josh how tough he was. How amazing.
These were the same things the doctor told him.
After a few minutes, the nurse quietly told me about a child she had cared for years earlier. He survived a TBI at the age of four. Twelve years later, the boy died from complications caused by his injuries.
Her heart is still affected years later.
Life is a Roller Coaster!
…
Josh has no concept of what we are talking about. Of how great he is. How amazing it is that he survived. Of the nurse’s feelings or that life is a roller coaster.
He just knows he has to wear those stupid boots and that helmet.
Yet the nurse thinks he’s Superman.
Despite my best efforts, Josh often sees deficits, not superpowers.
Eventually, we got out of the second appointment, and I had to call his teacher, who told me to let him have the day off.
I wasn’t planning on that!
Now, it was time to scramble for a new plan.
Mom and Grandma weren’t available to help, and he wanted to stay with me anyhow.
Next, I tried to reschedule an appointment I would miss.
Life is a Roller Coaster!
…
I picked up Josh’s favorite meal at a restaurant, and we went home.
After eating, Josh and I sat down to wrap the Christmas presents he had selected for one of his friends.
When the wrapping was finished, we moved to the kitchen table for some coffee. Mine with cream, his with homemade vanilla creamer. Just the way he liked it.
“This is the life, Dad!” Josh announced with a wide grin.
“What do you mean?”
“Playing hooky. Hanging out and having coffee.”
Hmm . . . nice, yes, but it’s not sustainable, I couldn’t help but think.
“It sure is, Son. I love hanging out with you. Unfortunately, it’s not quite how life works most of the time, just hanging out. Eventually, we must get some work done to make money and pay for what we need.”
“Yeah, Dad. Besides, your butt gets numb,” he added.
I laughed. “Yes, Josh. That’s true too.”
Life is a Roller Coaster.
…
Our life, and maybe your life, is a roller coaster. It’s up, down, and upside down. It surprises you with sharp, unexpected turns you couldn’t imagine coming. All within a few hours.
Sometimes it leaves your stomach doing flip-flops, and you want to throw up.
Other times it’s so exhilarating you want to do it repeatedly.
But it’s always quite a ride!
Keep the Faith. Love Wins.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
![]() |
—
Photo credit: Robert Linder on Unsplash
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
