Love, Drama, and Divorce. Men & Women Handle Trouble Differently

• Men and women think differently.
• Men and women think alike.
• Men and women make untrue assumptions about each other.

Ask someone, even a research paper, and it will come to one of these conclusions. The result? It changes based on the experiences influencing the answer.

We will never know with certainty if men and women mesh. Yet, appear different because of cultural expectations. But finding the middle ground between how males and females approach issues helps your relationship work easier.

#1. Love

Everyone (myself included) makes it seem simple.

Communicate.

It is the “big secret” to lasting long relationships. It’s simple. But hard. So. It is forever a mysterious hack to great relationship stories. Science wanted to make it easier for us.

The formula?

Date nights! The University of Virginia study recommends one date night slot every week. I know. It sounds more challenging and expensive than remembering to take a daily multivitamin.

But that’s the problem. We overthink execution. Then get a little done. The focus shouldn’t be on the food, venue, or outfit. The actual challenge? You and your partner stay focused as you catch up on each other’s lives.

• This date night can happen at home or outside.
• It should make both partners feel seen, heard, and sexy.
• If routines bore you. Build anticipation for it as you do for your favorite show, book, device release, or sports game.

#2. Drama

Here’s a rule I set for myself. Keep your relationship troubles private. Make your relationship bliss and highlight reels public. It saves you so much drama.

The only person who should know about your fights is your neighbor. Why? Paper-thin apartment walls and super close houses. Don’t tell people about your business because you need to get things off your chest. Share because you need advice.

Let us forget in-laws using it against you for a minute.

It goes back to the idea of communication. You calmed down because you shared with an outsider. What motivation do you have to fix things with your partner?

Sometimes, it’s not a silent treatment per se. Instead, your partner spilled their guts to someone. Their emotional reservoir is empty. They don’t have the drive to talk about the matter anymore.

It is critical to have a calming, non-alcoholic reflective space to calm down. It creates a relaxed void for you to choose to fix things with your partner.

#3. Divorce

• Women ask for more divorces than men.
• Men are more likely to cheat when feeling unsatisfied.

Here are the supporting numbers.

20% of men cheat versus 13% for women.

Women start 70% of divorces. Among college-educated women, this number is 90%. These are the 2015 research figures.

It is still true today. Look at your friend’s group or the gossip news section. The Whitley Law Firm blog gave three reasons for this divorce occurrence.

• Women feel held back by marriage.
• Women feel emotionally burdened.
• Women feel done with consistent unacceptable behavior.

Could communication help here?

Sure. But no one wants to feel less than.

Why? Because they ask for help all the time.

No one jumps to wash dishes, pay bills, start sex, or change diapers all the time. There needs to be a system and flexibility around who does what.

• If you decide roles for each other, ensure you consider exceptions and break periods. It gives room for speaking up. Or reduces the regret and thoughts of unfairness when your list of chores feels monotonous.

Thank you for reading this post.

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This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.

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