Last week, my wife and I flew to Orlando to support a grieving friend and his family. About a month ago, the life of our friend’s partner, the mother of two teenage children, ended abruptly. She will be dearly missed by all those who were touched by her sweet tenderness and compassion. This experience is all too common and it’s not something I would wish upon anyone. It does however bring up the notion of love and human connection. Are you grateful for the relationships you have or are you stuck in the throws of negativity, frustration, and anger?
According to the Grant Study at Harvard University, “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, the current director of the 80-year-old study. That’s right, our relationships are possibly more important than genes, exercise, or diet when it comes to our quality of life.
That’s really what matters, isn’t it? Are you loving to others and do you feel loved. Our friends in Florida thought they would have a full lifetime together, but it was tragically cut short. Of course they will miss so many great times as a family. This horrific experience begs the question, are you making the most out of your relationships?
I know I try to make sure I’m doing the best I can with my wife and my daughter. I also make sure to keep in touch with my brothers, my family, and my friends on a regular basis. Social connection with human beings is way better than being isolated and allowing that chatty mind to get the best of you.
I’ve come up with six ways to help you foster your love and keep human connection alive. So whether you’re in a relationship or not, start practicing some of these tips and begin improving your quality of life. You won’t regret it, I promise.
Hug someone. There is nothing like human contact. I’m a hugger myself. I hug my friends and my family. I’ll even hug a new friend if we’ve had a connection or if they’re going through a rough time. A hug is an expression of love and compassion. Do it more often.
Spend quality time. Listening is a gift, especially these days with all the ADD going around. Most people are crafting a response before the person they’re listening to has even completed their thought. Give yourself a moment to really hear what the person is saying. Take in the words and the sub-text. Then pause for a short moment before you give your response. It will make your conversations more meaningful.
Plan a surprise. So many of us get caught up in our day to day stuff. What’s on the to do list and how do we check it all off. Here is your official invitation to go off the beaten trail and create new brain synapses for yourself and/or your mate. Doing something different like finding a new trail if you’re a hiker, or going to a different museum, or planning a vacation to somewhere you haven’t gone. All these things will force interaction with your loved ones.
Kiss her on the forehead. Whenever I come home, the first thing I do is go to my wife and give her a kiss on the forehead. It might seem simple, but there is contact and I know she likes it. It’s important to me to make sure I make that contact with her. It’s a like saying, “we’re together, I’m on your side, and I’m here to help.”
Make Love. I couldn’t leave this one out. Of course, if you’re in a relationship, make sure your intimate life is working well. It definitely helps create a fantastic communion. If you’re not in a relationship, make love to yourself, metaphorically speaking. Go on a date with yourself, pamper yourself, love yourself. I’m sure you can think of ways to feel good.
Laugh together. Laughter is incredibly healing. As kids all we did was laugh and play, then somewhere along the way we seem to loose that innocence and everything becomes serious. Find your playfulness, be silly, make fun of yourself if you have too, but life is way too short to be heavy. Make it fun!
Remember, life is short. You can make it as sweet or sour as you like. It’s really up to you. You can stay in that land of anger and frustration, or you can look at each moment as a gift. When someone close to you dies, there is evidence supporting the latter. It’s definitely my recommendation. If you’re having trouble, I’m always here to help. Send me a message @teddymcdonald.
Originally published on the author’s website.