I’m talking with friends about online dating post-divorce.
“A lot of people lie about their age on dating apps,” they say.
“Seriously?” I say.
“A lot of men are looking for younger women.”
“I’m not willing to lie about my age,” I say.
It turns out this is a common practice of online dating. Men and women both do it. It’s not only because some men are searching for younger women. It’s to widen the search capabilities when an individual keys in their age preference.
The world of online dating is already a numbers game.
You may or may not be successful. The younger age dating search criteria may bring more options into the dating pool. It also appeals to active individuals who believe age plays a larger role in finding those who are interested in hiking, skiing, etc.
But really?
Is this what we’ve been reduced to?
I can’t say I’m completely shocked. A man I know is dating a woman who claims to be a certain age. They connected on a dating app. When I met her I knew she was lying. She does look good for her age but she’s at least five years old than stated. But he’s still none the wiser.
And she’s still pretending.
I think because it’s less about age and more about what someone looks like.
If they look good then age seems to be less relevant. If they defy time by taking great care of themselves, working out, eating well, and are up for adventures then perhaps it matters less.
At least for some men.
I want to be outraged but I’m not. There’s a reason for that. I’m not interested in dating someone who cancels me out because of a number. I won’t need to be wary of a guy like this.
I don’t plan on lying.
I will tell the truth.
We’ll see what happens. My friends may be right. I may only hear from men who are considerably older than me. The guys my age may not engage at all. I’m up for this dating experiment.
I’m in no rush.
I’m easing into this online dating thing.
Am I shocked this is a common online dating practice? Kinda. It feels silly, awkward, and risky because one day the truth is gonna come out. I’m more disappointed than anything else.
I know a lot of happily married men.
Guys who are with women their own age.
Shocking proof a numerical number doesn’t circumvent love. I think people need to approach online dating as the unknown adventure it is. You don’t know who you will meet. Likewise, neither does the other person.
Age is a quantifier, not a qualifier.
Some people embrace it, some resist it, and some defy it.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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