One of the epiphanies of thought leader Werner Erhard’s work was getting that whatever he knew was an “in order to”. He got, “Nothing was inherently significant.” Thus, he got that he was free to be, and free to act.
Werner got that we choose who we are going to be in any given moment. We can “live a life of our own making”. We can either give life ‘useful’ meaning or not so ‘useful’ meaning. Life inherently has no meaning, by design, other than the meaning we bestow it. Yet, we all want to live meaningful lives. I do. Don’t you?
Werner said that once we get that we can invent ourselves, choosing who we are going to be, then our authentic self-expression is making a difference, somehow, specifically for others. That can constitute a meaningful life. Just saying.
In my own trials and tribulations, I fell into depression when I thought that I no longer had anything of value to contribute to others. Fortunately, I was able to do so in the past, but that was the past. Consequently, I saw myself as useless. While working with my therapist Lance, I discovered that voice in my head saying, “You’re no good. You’re useless.” That was my dad’s voice. I had accepted it as the unconditional truth.
Initially, I couldn’t love and forgive me. Yet, I could start by ‘hating’ on me a whole lot less. I started by giving myself a fucking break. I took my ‘baby steps’. So instead of listening to that voice from my childhood, I listened to the voices of those, who listened and saw me as greater than I listened or saw me. I listened to Mom, “I’m proud of you.” I listened to Sensei, “You’re a better teacher than me…”
Amazingly, I started making a difference for myself. I began to heal me: forgive and love me as whole, my strengths and my imperfections. Healing myself, I could then make a difference for others in small or profound ways. Making a difference became my natural expression. I listened to and saw the greater than in others, who they can become.
Perhaps, by design life has no inherent meaning. Yet, when we make a difference by distinguishing the greater-than in others, life becomes meaningful.
Morihei Ueshiba, Founder of Aikido, said, “The way of the warrior is to give life to all things, to reconcile the world, and to foster the completion of everyone’s journey.” We give life. We make a difference. We give life back to ourselves, too.
The paradox of making a difference for another: They must grant us permission to do so. Really. Like Werner said that he was free to be, and free to act. Well, that’s the two-way street. No permission: Move on.
Though, when someone grants you permission, then it’s on! That was Sensei Dan for me 30 years ago. I gave Sensei permission to teach me Aikido. That meant saying “Hai” even when I didn’t know what the hell he was asking me to do. That meant grinding it out to become my greater-than version. That meant getting yelled at, when I wasn’t being present, when Sensei knew in his heart that I could do better.
Today, I’m Yondan, 4th-degree black belt. More importantly, Sensei taught me what it is to be a Good Man. He became the Dad, I needed to evolve into my greater version. That made a profound difference for me, for my life. I’m forever grateful for him being in my life. Amen.
Sensei believed that world would be a better place if everyone trained in Aikido. Well, that was more of a dream. Not a practical outcome. Yet, that embodied his dedication to being of service, of making a profound difference. Making a difference is part of Sensei’s legacy. I’m part of his legacy.
Sensei said, “It’s more important to me, who you are outside the Dojo (in the real world).” Amen. So whether I taught Aikido to 14 year-old Adam or guided Lieutenant Jon in the Military Satellite world, making a difference for them meant: They become their best versions of themselves. And they had to grind it out.
Why make a difference in the world? Well, why not. The world works when it’s not all about me. The world works, when everyone evolves and dedicates to becoming their greater-than version of themselves.
If you truly want to make leave the world a better place than when you came into it, then make a difference for others. Heal yourself. Love and forgive thine own self. Foster other’s greater-than versions. And the world will be a better place. Just saying.
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