TASK #6: MAN, MEET TRUTH
“Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies”. Ralph Waldo Emerson.
I’m sitting in my favorite chair half-watching the Super Bowl because I could give not even two shits about who wins the game. The Patriots and their fans are insufferable, and the Eagles and their fans are insufferable–and stupid (though taken as a matter of lesser evils, I hope the Eagles wipe the field with the Patriots).
The whole thing has me getting depressed, not because my beloved Browns will never sniff the playoffs until I’m dead, buried and forgotten, but because I watch these athletes and I so want to think that if a couple of things had just turned out differently, and I had a couple of breaks, I could have played in a Super Bowl, but I’m just lying to myself. I am NOT a great athlete. And that got me to thinking about other things that I am NOT, and that’s why I got all depressed.
Then I figured out something: It is impossible to become what you want to become if you can’t face who you are. |
I am NOT a great lover, or listener, or a self-less person. I’m not. I’m not empathetic, I am not handsome, and I am not the smartest guy in the room, or even the smartest guy reading this column.
But I know what I am not. I tell myself the truth. I was not always truthful with myself…I used to tell myself what I wanted to hear.
Then I figured out something: It is impossible to become what you want to become if you can’t face who you are.
So I decided to write down everything I WAS, and WASN’T. And not lie. It wasn’t easy. In my case, I started with the low-hanging fruit: I am a bullshitter, which is a bullshit way to say I lie. Not all the time, but when it’s expedient; and I pontificate. I act like I know more than I do, and I am loud about it.
That was actually an easy one.
It took me a while, and though I was alone with pen and paper, I still wriggled and squirmed and felt guilty and ashamed. And when I was done with my list, I felt good.
I will share one with you. Number 6 on my list: I am a grown man with a wife and children, and each day of my life I rise out of bed with one mission–that I will do whatever I have to do that day to make sure that they have a roof over their heads, food on the table, clothes on their backs and maybe most importantly, that they have my unwavering support and love.
But here’s the truth: sometimes I can give a rat’s ass about my wife and kids. Sometimes I just want to run away and be alone and not worry about anyone other than myself, and to hell with the mortgage, the IRS and the college savings plan…
That was number 6.
TASK
- Part One: List ten truths about yourself. Don’t spare yourself. List what you ARE, and what you ARE NOT.
- Part Two: Read them to your best friend. (Note: this is optional. But do write them down.)
Photo courtesy of the author