My friend and colleague Joe Elvin wrote this lovely post recently.
What Travelling the World With My Partner Taught Me About True Love
I’ve visited dozens of countries with my girlfriend over the past year. The lessons I learned go way beyond dating advice
betterhumans.pub
In it, he speaks about how amazing it’s been for him to travel the world with his girlfriend, Dani, and how it’s revealed the depth of their love for each other.
Not only was it a beautiful and inspiring read, but it has relevance to me because it emphasises everything Joe and I teach as dating coaches. You see, literally today, I had someone say this about me:
Ciaran likes to “tell it how it is” but consistently fails to realize that not everyone wants to be a player.
And that person has no idea how wrong they are. I 1000% tell it like it is and always will, but nothing Joe or I teach is about being a player. It’s about getting your shit together as a man and nothing more.
Here’s the thing. Joe has a fantastic relationship with a beautiful and intelligent woman who’s perfectly aligned with him and his values. He really had because I’ve met her in person, and she’s adorable. Trust me, he’s incredibly done well for himself. But you know what?
Without the knowledge and experience he gained by pushing himself past his comfort zone and meeting thousands of women for multiple years, he’d never have been able to attract her.
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The time Joe spent meeting women in bars, clubs, on the street, in coffee shops, restaurants, social media, and dating apps did a few things:
- It trained him to know how women operate so that, unlike the average man who thinks they’re life’s ultimate unsolvable mystery, he was and can communicate effectively with them.
- It helped him grow, so he radiated confidence and an inherently attractive personality to the opposite sex.
- Being exposed to so many different flavours of femininity crystallised what he does and doesn’t like in a woman. Unlike so many men who don’t know what they want and need besides a warm and willing body, Joe knows exactly what he wants from women and was hence able to spot a great thing in Dani when he saw it.
- Joe’s experience and mastery with the opposite sex, meant that, unlike so many men who are so starved for attention that they get with the first woman to give them the time of day and hold on to her tightly for dear life; he didn’t need to do that.
Instead, he had the confidence to hold out for what would make him truly happy, and that’s beautiful.
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Learning to attract women isn’t about being a player
Not in the least. The fact is that today’s dating scene is absurdly competitive for men, and the cream rises to the top while the rest fall by the wayside.
Another truth is that your ideal woman has her perfect man, and if you don’t tick her boxes won’t give a damn about how many of yours she ticks, what she’ll do instead is pass you on for someone who does.
Many things are required for a man to consistently attract women and, therefore, be equipped with the best chance of finding the love of his life, and the fact is that the more of them you have going for you, the more likely you are to achieve success.
Joseph’s incredible relationship is a testament to everything we, and coaches like us, teach men. If you’re looking for the woman you will spend the rest of your life with, I highly suggest you start working on yourself yesterday.
If you wanted to get in shape, you’d join a gym, and if you wanted a fantastic job, you’d study to become qualified for it. This is no different.
In fact, finding your dream woman is arguably the most important thing you’ll ever do and, hence, something you want to do right. Look at what’s happened to Joe. Just my two thoughts.
Excelsior!
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Feeling inspired? Get my book Meet & Keep Your Dream Women to transform your dating life.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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