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I believe most men make peace with their defects. They accept their flaws as simply the way they are, and so they never declare war on those parts of themselves that keep them from exceptional lives. Mediocrity becomes their lot in life; merely getting by their only hope —Stephen Mansfield
Mediocrity. A brutally honest and accurate word about how men accept who they are and their plight in life.
Imagine being called a mediocre man, a low-quality leader, an insignificant father, an inferior husband or low-quality friend.
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When I looked up the term mediocrity, the terms that came up included acceptability, averageness, inferiority, insignificance, low quality, and triviality. These were the kindest descriptions.
These words do not portray a very flattering description. I frankly was taken aback by these descriptors because most men would not think that they are average, inferior or insignificant. Imagine being called a mediocre man, a low-quality leader, an insignificant father, an inferior husband or low-quality friend. I would find these unacceptable and would definitely be angry at the individual who called me such a derogatory name.
I know that in certain seasons of my life I did not always invest wholeheartedly in tackling my flaws and imperfections as a husband, father, and friend. In my career though, I took pride and put in a lot of effort to be far better than mediocre. In fact, I criticized what I perceived as mediocre employees in the workplace. I avoided at all costs being labeled as a mediocre leader.
It was only through the wise insistence of my wife and children that I began to realize that I needed to put a greater effort into personal growth while not sacrificing my growth as a leader. They encouraged a view of integration not separation as the right approach. Personal growth would work hand in hand with leadership growth to move me from being better than mediocre.
It took a commitment of time and hard work at getting over the fear of facing my defects and the fear of tackling tough issues.
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They were right. Their encouragement and love helped to begin a process of self-examination, something that I had been avoiding for a long period of time. It took persistence, courage, and discipline to get to a point where I think that I am a better man than I was a few years ago.
What was the difference? It took a commitment of time and hard work at getting over the fear of facing my defects and the fear of tackling tough issues. I feared that the self-examination would have me discover someone who was not prepared to dig deep, stick with the hard work and would be seen as giving up too easily. In summary, I feared failure. Something I worked so hard to avoid as a leader.
There is truth in Mansfield’s quote. I do think that men, especially in their personal lives, have settled for mediocrity not putting in the time or the energy to “declare war on those parts of themselves that keep them from exceptional lives.”
I would encourage you to go to battle and work hard and try to avoid mediocrity and become more exceptional than you are today. I am trying and I know it is paying off.
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