“I’m always afraid I get too mushy too soon”.
This was cute. Really cute. After seeing each other a while, I got the feeling that this might go somewhere.
Yes, he was moving soon. And yes, maybe it would all fall apart.
But he was into it. I was into it. Maybe that was all that mattered.
Fast forward a week and here I sit. Shocked, confused, and quite frankly a little irritated.
In just a matter of days, he went from giving me every sign of wanting to be together: The cuddling, the texting, the sleepovers, the sex, the romance, cooking together and coffee in the mornings.
Just for him to go dark. Cut me off. And worst of all, act like we weren’t a thing.
We were a thing, alright.
Nobody is taking that from me.
Look, I know what’s going on here.
He got scared. I’m not naive.
I’m not even mad at the situation. Moving out of town soon means a committed relationship is difficult. He’s afraid of starting a new career. He doesn’t even know where he’ll live.
These are all understandable reasons to end something.
And I mean that.
What’s not understandable is denying what we were.
What’s not understandable is acting like we were nothing.
And worse, to infantilize me as if I’m a child having a toy taken away from them.
It’s okay to change your mind.
I’ve changed my mind. I change my mind all the time.
You know what’s not okay?
Pretending that you didn’t. Pretending like you knew what you were doing all along. Not admitting something so easy and simple to understand.
You developed feelings. You got scared. Now you’re running away.
You won’t be the first man that does it and you won’t be the last either.
But let’s just be clear right now.
Don’t speak to me like we’re dating and then act like it never happened.
Don’t treat me like a child for admitting my feelings while you ignore yours.
Don’t lie to yourself. You’re just lost and scared and acting like a puppy with his tail between his legs.
Or like Peter Pan, running away to find himself instead of cherishing what you have.
I’m just glad I can see through it. Gosh, I’m relieved I can see through it.
Because the next person might not.
And we both deserve a whole lot better.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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 The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
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Photo credit: Madalyn Cox on Unsplash
