Just because we aren’t talking about it doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking it.
Too big, too small, too fat, too thin. “Put on a little weight there, pal?” “You gotta start working out, man.”
While there aren’t racks full of magazines devoted to making men feel bad about themselves, there are plenty of images in the media, not to mention pressure from mates and peers, pushing us to attain some proper standard.
And even if we know it’s genetically impossible – no 30 year old is going to grow two more inches there or there – that doesn’t make hearing about it any easier.
Yes, yes, we should get over it, love ourselves, don’t care what other people say, shake it off, let it go, rock and roll all night…
But that’s easier said than done.
File this BuzzFeed video under “everyone’s thinking in, no one’s saying it”.
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How many of these guys watch porn of young, thin women with big breasts or even fake body parts?
And two wrongs clearly make a right.
How about we don’t objectify ANYONE, EVER, regardless of their sex or gender? Just because SOME men objectify women does not mean that ALL men do; does not make it okay to objectify men.
And let’s also talk about how the people involved in pornography for the most part participate WILLINGLY and MAKE MONEY OFF OF IT. Who are you to gainsay someone else’s (let alone ANOTHER WOMAN’S) CHOICE to profit off of their assets?
I wasn’t trying to convey the message that two wrongs make a right or that it was okay to objectify men. I often feel frustrated and conflicted on this topic. I really enjoyed listening to the video and hearing men speak up and honestly, I should have said that previously. In a few short decades, men have certainly had to deal with more objectification of themselves more viscerally. And in a few short decades, men have really stepped up and began to respond to it pretty quickly. Some of my previous and immature opinions have shifted after hearing men speak… Read more »
By the way, if you want to give me tips about how to better support men, I’m all ears. For real. I am trying here. But I’m still frustrated too.
My advice: stop being frustrated. Then we can talk.
And before anyone asks, the advice hint goes for men, too.
I fail to see how anything is preventing us from talking about it now. If you feel you can be of help, please chime in. Expressing frustration is a valid emotion and one that should not prohibit us from engaging in thoughtful conversation.
Men’s objectification gets an immediate response while excuses are made about why it’s okay to objectify women. Might have the teensiest bit to do with the double standards in how so-called equality activists talk about it. Where women’s objectification gets an immediate response,while excuses are made about why it’s okay to objectify men. As in the other thread – it’s not just men that do this. But as usual, we get a ton more shit for it from equality types when we criticise the same things in you that you do in us. I might not take the notion of… Read more »
Amen brother!
Okay Oirish, you feel that women’s objectification gets immediate response, while excuses are made about why it’s okay to objecitfy men and I feel that men’s objectification gets immediate response while excuses are made about why it’s okay to objectify women. And around and around we go never really clearly understanding one another or working together. You admittedly don’t take the subject of objectification too seriously and I do take it very seriously. You consider yourself a great arbritrator of consistency and equality while everyone else falls short of your standards. I just don’t see it that way either. All… Read more »
All in all, we aren’t really having a conversation with each other, we are just taking at each other. I’m trying to explain why the situation arises the way it does. Several things seem to me to be in play here. When members of an equality movement engage in the same behaviour they spend a lot of their time condemning, it rings a little hollow. Irrespective of whether you think objectification is a problem or not, that’s going to be the case. If it’s bad, then it’s bad no matter who it’s done to. Not only that, but it grates… Read more »
I have no desire to get into a discussion with you. You don’t respect me or my beliefs. I am simply stating this as a fact – not to create any feelings on your part about me. There is no point in us having any kind of discussion. You won’t respect what I have to say.
Erin, were you this pissy at every woman who went to see Magic Mike?
Nah, it doesn’t count when women do it.
Haven’t you heard 8ball? I’m a terrible person. Why care what I think?
Erin, why do you still care about these men? It’s the good men project site, but they didn’t even start their project to become good yet.
DON’T ATTACK LE PORNN, THE WAY MEN LOVE TO OBJECTIFY WOMEN AS IF THEY WEREN’T HUMAN AND THE GAMEZZZ YOU HORRIBLE WOMEN!!11!
Oh damn, let’s talk about one of the few exceptions were men are half assed objectified (while still holding a lot of character) and women have to take the courage to go watch it and not let any sexist guy know she did it just to call her a whore and slut for that.
I’m skeptical of this approach, though I admit that it is a relatively unexamined skepticism, and not strongly rooted in evidence. It appears we are copying body issue approaches used mostly with women and applying them similarly to men – It’s the storyline that media and general culture sets ideals that are too far out of reach and that we need to increase sensitivity about the distorted ideals and match them with general acceptance of all that is outside these ideals. My skepticism revolves around the strategy of increasing personal sensitivity. I’m afraid that rather than increasing acceptance and personal… Read more »
Not bad.
They missed out a big one, IMO – the “men’s bodies are just comical / unattractive” meme….
Good point. Playing giggle-pillsbury-dough-belly is not cool.