It can’t be denied that men will always be associated with toughness. This is the very reason why sometimes they tend to suppress their emotions – to shy away from the judgment of being not manly enough. This is deeply rooted to our complex culture, shaped by the times and tides of our society.
Brené Brown, one of the most celebrated vulnerability experts shares that “Men walk this tightrope where any sign of weakness illicit shame, and so they’re afraid to make themselves vulnerable for fear of looking weak. But if you can’t be vulnerable, then you can’t truly grow and be your best self. Women can both embrace and help men walk across the tightrope, or we can be the ones who push them off.”
This holds so much truth—especially these days. If we come to think about it, our relationships would be so much better when we encourage and uphold vulnerability in our men. What about treating softness as an adventure as well?
Some men are fueled by the idea of Touring Scotland in a motorhome as the greatest adventure of their life, but it we can never doubt that some of our brothers, boyfriends, and husbands get all thrilled with the comforts of baking, looking after the children, and doing household chores. The latter type of men is also exploring the magnificent inner landscapes of which they are and what their personal journey is.
Why then is vulnerability an adventure?
It is the doorway to honest communication
The success of relationships relies on honest communication. Beyond the promises of romantic comedies and fiction, to stay committed with a man is hard work and a conscious choice each time. Generally speaking, women are more open and expressive in relationships, and men are more reserved and quiet. When men are more open to being vulnerable, honesty and trust is being valued in the relationship – men are able to express their innermost thoughts and women can understand where they are usually coming from. Furthermore, men will become humble enough to share their weaknesses and insecurities in the relationship. This means that room for improvement is willingly paved. It is only through mutual support and sincerity that relationships, especially marriage are truly sustained.
Honest communication will save the relationship from unnecessary drama and will further deepen the connection and compassion. Vulnerability to nurture communication is an adventurous ride a man can experience—it will help him grow and become more mature.
It cultivates spiritual growth
Spirituality may be a tricky and scary word for many, but we must recognize how essential it is in relationships. The evolution of one’s spirituality is an adventurous part of a man’s personal journey and vulnerability aids the enriching process. When a man welcomes vulnerability in his life, he is also allowing his spirituality to expand through acceptance, surrender, and authenticity.
Acceptance is only possible when a man is vulnerable. The culture of machismo is very strong in our culture and it stops men from accepting what is outside their perspectives because normally, they would feel that being tough on one’s perspectives is manly. Acceptance requires softness and it is an inward adventure that deepens a man’s tolerance and patience.
Surrender is another uncomfortable term for the male population. Just like acceptance it seems too tender. However, surrender is a beautiful component of life – it reminds men that no matter what happens, things fall into place in one harmonious flow amid struggles and difficulties. Above all, authenticity channels a man to his own inner voice. It defines him and the meaning that he seeks in this world. When a man comes home to his authenticity, he also realizes the pure importance of his being and what he can do for others, especially within his relationships.
It leads to laughter and openness
With vulnerability, men are not afraid to chuckle, roll on the floor laughing, and being more open to the surprises and whims of life. What is the point of being too stiff and missing out on the most wonderful moments of being human? When men are vulnerable, they can recognize the richer and fuller life of spontaneity, fun, and togetherness.
They will be fully present not just for their wives and children, but also for their friends and fellow males. Shared joys are essential to living a meaningful life, and there is no shame in totally enjoying every moment of being immersed in bliss and ecstasy. We definitely need more men who are not scared to shout for excitement and thrill. We need more men who are childlike and wide-eyed.
So many people have their own share of sad stories of childhood and home life when their own Fathers are too stiff and controlling. With vulnerability in the family and in men, a revolution of laughter and openness will change things for the better.
It empowers the feminine energy in our lives
Feminine energy is highly essential in the world. It carries the harmony, the tenderness, and rhythm. It is not something that only women can offer. Feminine energy is present in men too, but with the societal pressures and false beliefs, it seems being removed from men. Through vulnerability, men will no longer have to pretentiously hide their softer side. This is very important in our daily undertakings.
Vulnerability and feminine energy can bring so much lightness in the world: we deserve more forgiveness, care, and affection. Men will have more space to share their softer world and understand as well as appreciate the presence and essence of women in their lives.
As the demands of our society shift and take shapes, vulnerability will keep us together through a consciousness guided by the attempt to really understand each other through sensitivity.
Indeed, vulnerability in men is something we must consider paying more importance to these days. Let us hold space for this—to encourage our men that being soft is not being unmanly.
Photo/Pixabay
Unfortunately you lost me when you got to “It empowers the feminine energy in our lives” “Feminine energy is present in men too, but with the societal pressures and false beliefs, it seems being removed from men. Through vulnerability, men will no longer have to pretentiously hide their softer side. This is very important in our daily undertakings.” As long as you identify these characteristics as being “feminine” then you will lose male interest in what you’re saying. In a society where there is a big push to stop gender roles, why is it that there is no attempt to… Read more »