An extramarital affair is like a grain of sand in a shoe.
In the eyes of outsiders, it seems that nothing has changed. Only you know how tormented and painful it is.
Even the party who took the initiative to cheat can’t be completely calm and relaxed. How cool it is to satisfy the desire; how disturbing it is to hide it afterward.
Just like those men who have love outside of marriage, no matter how deep they usually hide, they are still afraid and worried in their hearts.
They are most afraid that their wives will ask about the following things because once they slip up, they can no longer hide it.
01 Why Don’t You Spend More Time With Me?
All feelings are in time.
Whether husband and wife or lovers, the most obvious evidence of true love is the willingness to spend time with each other.
The same is true of extramarital affairs —
Once you are moved, you will definitely find ways to overcome all difficulties, even if you sacrifice time with your children and family, you have to go out on a date with your “lover”.
So those men who have extramarital affairs are often the “busiest” people.
Every time the wife asks, they have to find all kinds of excuses to excuse themselves, either working overtime or accompanying customers. But there is a good saying:
“No matter how busy a person is, he should leave a space in his heart for his lover. Time needs to be allocated, so why not love.”
When a man spends less and less time at home and makes more excuses, his heart grows more and more distant.
No matter how perfect the lie is, as long as there is no company, everything is perfunctory!
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02 What Did You Spend That Money On?
Men’s love is often very direct.
If they fall in love with someone, they usually don’t have too many small thoughts, the most direct question is: have you eaten? have you slept? Is there enough money to spend?
Especially in the face of extramarital affairs, men will feel even more guilty because they cannot be upright, so they are more willing to spend a little more money for their “lover” to make up for this regret.
When they went home to face their wives, they began to tell all kinds of lies to conceal the unexplainable expenditure.
Therefore, every time the wife discovers that there is money to be spent or the accounts are wrong, it is the time when the man is most flustered. Not only must he find a good excuse to hide it, but he must also find a way to convince his wife.
However, there is always a sparseness in a hundred secrets.
Those men who are always unwilling to spend money on their wives, but are often very generous to women outside, have various reasons for them, but the essence is actually the same: just a change of heart!
As someone said:
“In this world, there are many ways to test whether a relationship is true or not, but talking about money is the easiest and most accurate. How many relationships seem indestructible, but when it comes to money, they immediately fall apart.”
Where a man’s wallet goes is where his heart goes. When he spends a lot of money behind your back, he will also love a lot of people behind your back!
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03 Why Are You Acting So Strange?
I read a sentence and I agree with it:
“When cheating, the most feared thing is not a one-night stand, but a relationship outside of marriage.”
If it’s just a physical desire, there will always be a time to satisfy it, but if the heart is moved, the whole person’s mentality will change, and finally he will sink deeper and deeper.
This feeling is just like when he and his wife were passionately in love, wishing to be with each other all the time. Compared with the tenderness and consideration of the “lover”, the man my see his wife as more boring and ordinary than before, and feel colder in his heart.
Unless the wife finally finds out and the matter is brought to light, no matter how worried they are, they will not take the initiative to end this extramarital affair.
At this time, men usually have a fluke mentality and take all kinds of protection, while constantly dating their “lover”, enjoying the throbbing brought by this relationship.
When a man is fully perfunctory to you, and his words and deeds are all strange and alienated, stop deceiving yourself, even if his people are at home, his heart has already drifted outside.
“An extramarital affair is like a poppy, how beautiful it is at the beginning, and how painful it will be in the end.”
No matter when the marriage goes, men and women should not try this “forbidden fruit” lightly, and it will only hurt others and themselves in the end.
The only right way is to join hands with your lover, be honest and trust each other, accommodate and understand each other, and never separate until you grow old.
For the rest of your life, I hope you are well versed in the way of marriage, do it and cherish it. From now on, everything will be successful, and the long song will be warm and blissful!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Romina Ahmadpour on Unsplash
Why are pieces like this so often gender-specific? While men do statistically stray in higher numbers, all genders can be faced with these questions and fear of answering. Trust and agreement violations are no more or less damaging to men or women in relationships.