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Good Men Project’s #StopSexism Social Interest Group
On the Good Men Project’s #StopSexism Social Interest Group’s convocast, lead by Kara Post-Kennedy, we discussed the differences and similarities between men’s and women’s initial perceptions. Our goal is always about healthier relationships by eliminating societal stereotypes.
The first meeting
In an initial exchange, men see a woman and objectify her and her body parts before they put the whole woman together. Women, on the other hand, take in the whole male picture first – the man’s presentation of self. The difference may be attributed to the fact that women have been brought up to be mindful of others.
Women
From early on, women learn to read faces, body posture, gestures, movement, and energy. They’ve encountered enough lewd behavior and abusive situations to know an honest man when she meets one. So, by the time a woman is ready to get serious, she knows what/who she’s looking for and will spot him in a crowd. Fortunately, there are as many preferences as stars in the sky.
Men
Men have had their share of experiences too. They may divide women into groups and/or developed preferences through experience. Still, every woman presents a challenge. How do you know if she’s the one?
Who approaches whom to start the conversation?
Men on the call noted that women don’t initiate conversations, leaving all the work to the men. It’s as if, each time a man wants to talk to a woman it’s like junior high school and walking across the gym to ask a girl to dance — out there alone, traversing the big divide. In short, it’s tough.
The consensus was that women need to approach men and obliterate some of the pressure.
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We want to hear your point of view. How do you feel about who makes the first move? Would you be uncomfortable if you took the opposite approach than the one expected of you? Tell us about how you started a relationship? Who approached whom? Was it awkward? Sweet? Surprising?
Does your expectation, feed by societal sexism get in the way? Do you abide by it? Or, are you more likely to make up your own mind?
Have you ever thought about what you notice first about a person you’re interested in? What is that special something you look for? Do you look for it in your first impression or do you find it in conversation?
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Photo credit: Getty Images