Feeling stuck is like walking through gooey mud and muck. You can’t get too far when your rainy day boot keeps getting sucked off your feet in the mire of the day’s stresses, frustrations, and agitations.
I found myself stuck in the mud with my boots trying to help my 5 year old get out of the mud at the bottom of the hill behind our house. He was stuck and I lifted him out, his boots remaining firmly in the mud. I stepped into the mud, thinking I was bigger and stronger, however, the mud sucked me in and I was solidly stuck.
My boot (the one I stepped into the mud with) came off as if it was fastened with cement. My son’s boots and my singular standing black rubber boot stayed in the mud until we got a shovel to get them out.
Feeling stuck is much like the mud, it holds you down the more you emotionally or physically struggle. Conquering the pattern requires awareness. Once you are aware of the struggle, you can check the patterns and begin the change.
The following ideas are for you. Often hidden, the reasons why we become stuck need to be dug up much like the shovel and the boots. The difference? The shovel you’ll use is your mind, soul, and gut. It means a little bit of soul-digging which might feel uncomfortable.
Even so, once you start digging and uncovering the blocks and hindrances you’ll become freer. With some simple self-exploration, you can pinpoint the areas of your life, which require change.
One caution: You may have to step out of your comfort zone.
Our comfort zones are the places we return too, again and again when life throws us uncomfortable darts of stress, anger, and resentments. If you are ready to explore the inner person, let’s get started.
Actions plans help you to find a protocol for change.
Some people become rigid in their changes, and unfortunately, it sets them backward. Follow an organized, simple plan and you’ll conquer the changes, step by step. Nothing will stop you from goal achievement.
Here are some ideas you can use to get unstuck:
Set Up Accountability.
Accountability is the structure you put in place to follow and own your life. If you’ve lived stuck in a rut, getting accountable may feel uncomfortable. However, once you own it, you’ll begin to feel free, almost like nothing can stop you.
The weight of denial and rationalization pressed down on your courage, so letting those two little danger words go is liberating. Look at the goals you want to reach. You’ll reach them when you are fully aware of the steps and can accept your limitations without the justification of doing nothing.
As you dig inside, you’ll begin to see the why behind feeling stuck.
- Write down your feelings in a journal. Write everything that comes to mind. Once you do the writing, your brain begins to build an ah-ha awareness.
- We often think about the stuck feeling, in a negative feedback loop. The more the mind spins, the more we excuse the behaviors, which got us stuck in the first place.
- So, grab the pen and paper, and begin writing for a full 5 minutes everything your brain shows you.
Set A Time Goal.
An appointment for the doctor is set at a specific time. You have clients who see you at specific times, and you commit to meeting them. To move forward, you have to treat your goals like appointments.
Tony Robbins talks about a Date with Destiny program which helps you unlock the potential you’ve held back for whatever reasons. Chances are, you have been putting off working on goals. Maybe you are scared, fearful you’ll fail?
The good news? Even Thomas Edison failed 10,000 times in making the light bulb! You know what he said? He found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.
Change your approach. Set an appointment each day to move toward your goals. You’ve already decided to make yourself accountable and now it’s time to give yourself a time limit — so do it!
- Start with 30 minutes a day. If you want to write a book or an article, set a time to do it without fail.
- Even if you work past the time you set, you accomplished the goal.
- Every single time you accomplish a specific goal, you empower yourself to go forward.
Be Not Afraid.
Change is challenging. The potential for danger, failure, and pain keeps us in a rut. The fear of change is one of the biggest reasons you may get stuck in the first place.
Whether it is a job you feel stuck in, or the need to improve your future career by attending a Tech School or university, you have to schedule a time to focus on the next right step. If you feel trapped in your job, the only way out is to apply for a new one, challenge yourself to focus on what you do like about the work you do, and then make a plan to improve your work ethic so each day becomes a challenge you set to succeed.
It isn’t’ enough to tell you to get over your fear. People will say, “Just get over it already” to no avail. You’ll need to fuel the desire to change by movement. Look at the requirements. What do you need to do to improve yourself?
- Set a mini-goal of a reading requirement for day one’s goal.
- The next day set a goal to apply.
- Apply for the job, college degree, or whatever it is you wanted.
- You’ll end up happier, fulfilled, and surprised at overcoming your stuck mode.
Look For Role Models.
Think back to your childhood. Who was your hero? Who did you look up to and think you wanted to be just like “them” when you grew up? Or, consider the people you know who inspire you and make you feel empowered when you think of their journey. Maybe a group of people have faced the same trials you have, so you join with them and begin to feel as if you are not alone. They walked a similar path, so now you can see how they overcame obstacles.
- If possible, ask the person questions.
- Share your story.
- Find like-minded people who walked a similar path
- Explore options to see when you were a role model for someone else. Write it down!
Change Your Thinking.
Once more, Tony Robbins states, “Where your focus goes your energy flows.” It’s true: your actions first start as thoughts. When you think positive and brave thoughts, you’ll be motivated into action. Often, life is so busy we forget to engage our memories of times when we accomplished more than we have recently. Actions plans help you to find a protocol for change.
While we don’t want to dwell on what we used to do, looking back can propel us forward. How much did you lose in weight ten years ago? What did you do that worked? What do you need to do now?
Even if you love where you are, what about getting stronger? If we recall all the blessings and the heartfelt moments of accomplishment our brain will remember the positive experiences. The brain is geared to focus on the negative because of survival modes. You’ll need to rewire the brain. You can do it, though, with thought catching, and disqualifying negative thought patterns.
- Stop, drop the thought, and roll with change.
- Catch the spark of your thoughts is my personal motto. If you catch the thought before it turns into a negative, depressing feeling, you’ll be more successful.
- Each time you stop it, you gain strength to stop the next one. Change is possible.
Take Time.
Mornings are my favorite time to reflect, relax my brain, and recall my victories. Maybe the evening works best for you. Whatever time you choose, set it aside, and enjoy the moments to catch your thoughts. As you collect them, write them down. When you look back at your writings from past reflection days, you’ll see a pattern.
Conquering the pattern requires awareness.
Quiet time means no phone distractions, no people talking to you, or dogs begging for attention. For instance, yesterday I wanted to make one Christmas card for a Secret Santa gift. My daughter was sick and needed water, soup, bread, and comfort. My other daughter needed picking up, and my dog wanted my attention (she’s super tiny and I felt sorry for her), I was asked questions by my husband and interrupted numerous times. Making cards at 8:30 PM was not a good choice. I took twice as long because I was running back and forth helping my family.
Learn from my mistake: set time to think with no one interrupting you. It’s called self-care and people will survive without you for a short time.
- Reduce distractions
- Set time aside (a specific time and day)
- Plan to focus on your thoughts and write them down
Taking Action
It’s easy to remain in your “stuck” situation because it’s familiar and you know what’s going to happen. The feeling of safety is powerful. We habitually stay where we feel safe. However, the safe place isn’t necessarily the place where you’ll grow.
Eventually, the dissatisfaction you feel will take over and you’ll realize that the only way to get “unstuck” is to take immediate action to change. The echo in my mental states from the Unleash the Power Within conference: Take massive action. To change anything means shifting the dynamic so you feel empowerment.
Is it scary? Heck yeah! However, the more you process quickly, see the needs, acknowledge your accountability, and move with massive action, you’ll gain insight, growth, and awareness as you succeed in removing the mud from your boots (so to speak).
Make the Change
Choose your timetable, and get started. Break your changes into palatable steps. Small mini-goals to reach your final destination: Successfully unstuck. In whatever way feels most attainable, track your progress. Tweak your system to make sure your changes are making a difference.
Review, refresh, restart with enthusiasm for the growth process.
For example, if you’re feeling stuck in a relationship, you’ll first evaluate where you think the concern lies. Perhaps you aren’t communicating effectively. If so, you can set a timetable of three months to overcome this challenge.
You can then break down the problem into smaller steps by reading a book on communication, read everything you can on listening actively so you are learning the other side of communication, and talking about it with your partner.
Check out a personal counselor for yourself as you begin working on the things you know you need to improve. See a life coach. Join a program to help you gain assertiveness skills. As you go through these actions, you’re keeping the focus on how it affects your relationship.
In the end, you have a firm decision about your relationship’s progress and you no longer feel stuck. If you hadn’t taken action you’d not improve, and things would remain stagnant.
If you have taken the time to explore the options and planning for change, take some time to share it with someone. Sharing your success story helps others see how to overcome obstacles. You do not have to remain stuck. “You had the power all along,” said the Good Witch to Dorothy. We forget to tap into the blessings of change. Now, go ahead and:
Repeat the Process
Once you’ve applied the system to one aspect of your life, you can use the same strategies whenever you’re feeling stuck. Whether large or small, there are always actions you can take to break through barriers. You are stronger than you know, and tomorrow will become the brighter future you desire, starting today.
~Just a thought by Pamela
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want a deeper connection with our community, please join us as a Premium Member today.
Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. Need more info?
A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: ali elliott on Unsplash
