Meeting a good guy is the Wild West of divorced dating. It’s a romantically lawless frontier. Ironically, it was a woman who coined the term Wild West. In 1849, English writer Charlotte Bronte first penned it in Shirley, her second novel.
A few of my friends have wondered recently if they were used by a guy.
OR…actually dating a guy.
It’s sad that we woman have to ask ourselves that question but we do.
How do you tell if a guy is looking for an opportunity? Or as I typically tell my friends, “Be careful of the guy looking for anyone, not someone.” But some men are incredibly convincing.
I was reading a piece here on Medium by Noel Rock. It’s entitled, If Your Man Does These 8 Things, He Doesn’t Love You Beyond Your Body.
It’s worth the read.
I absorbed it with interest, and forwarded it to multiple friends.
I never worried about being used by a man…
Until I began dating after divorce.
Scratch that.
All women worry about being used by a guy. It happens the moment a young girl begins to date. We don’t want to be a meaningless encounter. We want to be meaningful.
What should I say?
I could identify those guys when I was younger.
They were shamelessly apparent.
They were young and dumb.
It isn’t necessarily the case with dating after divorce.
The type of man who’s willing to use a woman has gotten really good at it. They’ve seasoned themselves over the years. They’ve perfected their performance. They are far more charming, believable, and camouflaged.
Their lies are frighteningly disguised as the truth.
Even to a grown woman.
They don’t necessarily come across as a player.
Worse, they can appear to be good guys, genuinely good guys.
I could say more but this writer doesn’t feel the need to. Noel Rock did an excellent job of helping a girl discern whether a guy is really into you…ALL of you.
Or just your curves.
Give his piece a read.
It will help you understand the difference between a guy who is…
Looking for anyone, not someone special.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Javier González on Unsplash
