In Writer and Director James Gunn’s Superman (2025), Superman’s archnemesis Lex Luthor, played by Nicholas Holt, created pocket universes that were bridges or gateways within our universe to other universes or other dimensional realities.
A pocket universe is a small, self-contained universe existing within a larger universe or a subregion of spacetime with its own laws and properties, potentially even its own physical constants.
I was in Honolulu for my 45th Iolani School Reunion. 45 years. Doesn’t it go by in a blink. In 1976, I enrolled at Iolani School, an all-boys private high school. At the time, my parents paid a lot of money for me to attend. I was grateful.
One of the reasons I wanted to attend Iolani, which remains one of the top private schools in the US, was that it was all-boys at the time. I didn’t want to deal with girls. Not that girls wanted anything to do with me, anyway. I was the short, fat, ugly, nerd, who wasn’t good at any sports. I just wanted to concentrate on my studies. Be left alone.
At the Reunion on Iolani Campus, I saw some friends, who I haven’t seen since graduation. Those I hadn’t seen for 45 years. I kept in contact with several classmates on Social Media, like Facebook and Instagram, or through texts over the years.
We’re all 62 or 63 years old. All my friends were good, kind, thoughtful, and funny men. Iolani got its job done. My friends were doctors, lawyers, engineers, and company CEOs. Reuniting with these guys was truly an honor. It was sublime.
I got to spend some personal time with Curtis and Neal. Curtis and I came to Iolani in the 9th grade. Neal was there from 8th grade. I saw Neal in 2019, when he came to Mom’s funeral in Honolulu. I really hadn’t seen Curtis since we graduated from the University of Hawaii. Earlier in the year, I got a text from Curtis asking about possible summer jobs for his son, who’s a computer engineering major at Cornell University. I wasn’t able to help. Fortunately, his son found a summer internship.
Curtis is a nuclear engineer working for the Government on submarines. He looked great and healthy. He said, “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” When his son graduates in two years, possibly three, then Curtis can retire, like me. Unlike Curtis, I don’t have children. We had fun catching up 40 years or so. Curtis has a good life. He’s a good man.
Neal was a doctor. He looked great and healthy, too. Neal retired about a year ago. Much like me. He takes care of his Mom, who’s like 96 years old. She has dementia and has a hard time walking. I know what that’s like. My Mom had dementia in her Seniors Home. Mom passed away in Hospice Care. Neal is active in his church. His children are grown. His son Jordan came back to Hawaii for a job. He’s a Grandfather, too. Neal has good life. He’s a good man.
Maybe, it all turned out, because Iolani was our pocket universe. Our subregion of spacetime with its own laws and properties, with its own love and respect. Curtis, Neal, Jon, Ken, Kevin, Dave, and others were not just friends. They were Brothers. They were Family in our pocket universe.
In the African proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child.” My Iolani Brothers were my village. They profoundly helped raise me. I’m forever grateful for that, grateful for them.
Since I was a little boy, Dad scared the hell out of me. Whatever I did or didn’t do only made him so angry at me. I got I was not the son that he wanted. I would never be good enough for Dad. I would never to good enough for a pretty girl, much less anyone else, including me. I spent much of my adult life proving that I was good enough. Proving that I was good enough to be loved.
At Iolani, I was still the short, fat, ugly, unathletic geek. There were other kids, who were way smarter than me, way better looking than me, way better athletes than me, and way cooler than me. Still, in our pocket universe of Iolani, everyone gave me love and respect. I could just be me. I gave them love and respect, too. That was so meaningful to me.
In the First Noble Truth of Buddhism, there will always be suffering in life. The Fourth Noble Truth of Buddhism is the path to end suffering. My path to end suffering continued beyond Iolani. I trained with the late Mizukami Sensei and Ishibashi Sensei in Aikido for over 35 years, and I worked with my therapist Lance Miller for over 10 years, so far.
Mizukami Sensei said, “Just train.” I didn’t have to get somewhere or be someone else. I could just be me. I always had something to work on, refine, and improve. Just train.
Ishibashi Sensei said, “The purpose of Aikido is to release your fear.” Sensei said, “The safest place to be in under the attack, in the danger.” When the bigger stronger man punches to my face, I wait it out, and enter the attack. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time.
In the danger, I invite the punch. I make my distance, make my timing. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” It’s me against me.
Under the attack, I hold my position. I open up. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. Although that fear inside never completely disappears, every time I enter what I fear I let go more of my fear inside me. I free me. I’m free to be me.
I work with my therapist Lance Miller to heal my childhood trauma and depression. I forgive Dad for not knowing how to be a father, for being afraid inside too, and for being imperfectly human. I forgive myself for not being strong enough to stand up to Dad when I was 8 years old and protect Mom. I forgive myself for being imperfectly human, too. I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not.
On the path to end suffering, I had my pocket universe, I had Iolani. When times got tough, when I doubted in myself, I remembered the unconditional love and respect I got from my Iolani Brothers. They were my light at the end of the tunnel.
I have a life that I love, have a meaningful life, because of them. They are always in my heart. They shall always have my mad love and respect. Much of who I become, who I am, is because of my Brothers, my Village. I’m forever thankful. Forever thankful for them. Aloha.
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Photo by Evgeni Tcherkasski on Unsplash
